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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24437128">What More There Is</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynatnite/pseuds/cynatnite'>cynatnite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adoption, Breakup, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Divorce talk, Drama, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Gifted children, Happy Ending, House Hunting, Kid Fic, Not Canon Compliant, Phlint forever, Protective Phil Coulson, Renovation nightmares, brief mention of child abuse, medicating a child</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:48:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>28,759</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24437128</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynatnite/pseuds/cynatnite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint and Phil have been married since the year after Phil's so-called death. It took years for both to realize they had very different ideas about where their marriage was heading. </p>
<p>It's a long road for them to find each other again and to rediscover just how deep their love for one another goes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clint Barton &amp; Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton &amp; Phil Coulson &amp; Skye | Daisy Johnson, Clint Barton/Phil Coulson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What More There Is</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>In this universe, the movies following the first Avengers film didn't happen. Clint and Phil have been living in the tower as a couple.  The first half is from Clint's POV and the remaining is from Phil's. </p>
<p>I don't know much about adoption so I kind of fumbled my way through it to tell the story I had in mind. I'm not a good writer, but this has been building in my brain for a while. </p>
<p>A warning ahead of time. I used to be completely against medicating a child, especially one at the age that is in this story. After experiencing problems with one of my special needs grandchildren I came around about how it works when it's handled properly. It did help my grandson and eventually, he was able to be taken off of it when he got older. It still should be carefully considered and a second opinion never hurts either. </p>
<p>All mistakes are my own.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Clint wasn’t sure when it started. That itchy restless feeling would suddenly appear out of nowhere it seemed. He’d go to the range and fire off some arrows, spar with Natasha or even find a new way of cooking a meal. He had the small appliances and cooking fixtures to show for it. Eventually, it got to the point he’d just let it gnaw at him from the inside while he stretched across the sofa with his feet tucked just under Phil’s thigh.</p>
<p>Normally, he’d just spill his guts to Phil and they’d work their way through whatever problem that was presenting itself. In the years they’d been married, it always worked. This time, Clint had to figure out the words in order to define it.</p>
<p>After the attack on New York and getting Phil back from his death, they hadn’t hesitated to act on the love that had been growing for years prior. Both were deliriously happy.</p>
<p>Really, it was a perfect life. Phil split his time between SHIELD and his job as Avengers liaison. His hours stabilized more despite still getting called out on occasion to oversee large SHIELD operations and then wrangling “superhero children” as he’d put it.</p>
<p>Clint still did the occasional mission from time to time, usually under Sitwell or AD Hill when it was called for. The avenging took much more of his time which he didn’t mind in the least. Fighting monsters and aliens was the most fun he’d ever had.</p>
<p>As time passed, Clint actually had a regular schedule which was a new experience. In the past, he’d lived by the seat of his pants and no one day was ever the same. Now, he got up with Phil, they’d share coffee and whatever breakfast pastry had been delivered to the communal area. After Phil was off to work, Clint spent a good hour of working out before hitting the range or the gym Tony had built for the team.</p>
<p>A few times a week, he spent in the lab with Tony as they came up with new ways to deal with his paleolithic habit and accessories. There were team building exercises, simulations with his teammates and the occasional short-term missions that SHIELD called him on from time to time.</p>
<p>In the years since joining the Avengers, Clint had enjoyed it immensely. He had a great life with Phil, he lived in a luxury apartment that was much larger than most houses. How that rumor each Avenger had an entire floor to themselves ever started, no one ever knew. Still, they rarely had to clean. Most expenses were covered.</p>
<p>Clint hardly ever had to open his bank account, except for clothing, eating out or other miscellaneous whatnot. He probably should have complained about it much sooner.</p>
<p>Money was never a thing to worry about since he never really had any most of his life. After joining SHIELD, Clint pretty much lived in his headquarters and ate at the cafeteria. That paycheck went straight to his bank account. He’d looked into getting an apartment in the city, but the costs for a space smaller than his quarters settled that.</p>
<p>After he and Phil married, Clint left the matter of his finances to his husband. He didn’t have the head for that stuff. What he hadn’t realized was that Phil had seen to some investments, royalties and other income related activities.</p>
<p>“I get royalties?” was Clint’s question when Phil was talking with him about how much money he had.</p>
<p>Phil slid over the itemized paper detailing his net worth and Clint lost the ability to speak for an entire ten minutes. It was a lot. He had spent two hours on the range after that before he could talk to Phil about it.</p>
<p>That was a few years ago and Clint put it behind him easily enough. He rarely ever thought about the money unless he was teasing Phil about buying an island so they could run around naked.</p>
<p>Today was Sunday. The rain hit the window from the force of the blowing wind. Clint was feeling that itch again and he wished for an outdoor run. A treadmill wouldn’t cut it today.</p>
<p>He slouched on the couch with the remote and found a new episode with the Property brothers. For the last several months he’d gotten hooked on the renovation shows. Ideas had been forming in his head as a result.</p>
<p>Clint was just about to open his mouth when Phil’s cellphone rang.</p>
<p>“Coulson.” Clint glanced over to see Phil get to his feet. He pulled the phone away from his ear. “I have to take this. It might take a few hours.”</p>
<p>“Sure.” Clint’s eyes followed Phil who headed for the bedroom.</p>
<p>As one of the property brothers talked about a sagging foundation, Clint went to the kitchen. He took out the sous vide machine and started prepping their meal.</p>
<p>Three hours later, he and Phil sat across from each other at the table. Clint wasn’t all that hungry, but he toyed around with his food and ate enough to show the effort.</p>
<p>“I think you’ve outdone yourself,” Phil complimented. He took a bite of the tender ribeye. “Just like an outdoor grill.”</p>
<p>Clint nodded.</p>
<p>“You’ve been quiet today. Something on your mind?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’ve been thinking.”</p>
<p>“About?”</p>
<p>Clint straightened in his chair. “Well, do you ever think about living somewhere else?”</p>
<p>“Is this a ‘Tony Stark being intrusive as usual’ question?”</p>
<p>“It’s real.”</p>
<p>“Sometimes,” Phil admitted. “You?”</p>
<p>“A lot, lately.”</p>
<p>“I suppose we could do some looking if you’d like. We could find something not far from here and the new headquarters SHIELD is building.”</p>
<p>Clint was pleased that Phil was considering the idea, but that wasn’t what he had in mind.</p>
<p>“Actually, I was thinking of something with a yard and didn’t require a high-speed elevator.”</p>
<p>“Clint, you realize that would mean outside of Manhattan, probably quite a distance. The commute would be an issue.”</p>
<p>“I know that,” Clint answered in a low voice.</p>
<p>Phil set his fork down and Clint couldn’t avoid the seriousness in Phil’s beautiful eyes.</p>
<p>“Talk to me.”</p>
<p>“It started out wanting our own place. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I think I’ve done everything I can do. I want more, Phil.”</p>
<p>“You’re an Avenger, Clint. What more is there?”</p>
<p>“You, for one. Sometimes it feels like SHIELD has more of you than I do, even when you’re with us out in the field.”</p>
<p>“You want me to quit my job and move away with you?”</p>
<p>There was a bit of incredulity in Phil’s eyes and Clint’s gut twisted. There had to be a happy ending to this discussion, he hoped.</p>
<p>“No, I’d never ask that of you. I just thought if we had our own place outside of the Avengers and SHIELD, it would be better for us. We’d be happier.”</p>
<p>“You’re not happy?”</p>
<p>The hurt sound of Phil’s voice made Clint’s heart clinch until his chest hurt.</p>
<p>“It’s not that. I love you with everything I’ve got, Phil. I’m doing a shitty job of telling you.”</p>
<p>Phil jerked out of his seat and walked several steps away. He swung around and faced Clint who hadn’t moved.</p>
<p>“You just dropped a bomb in me, Clint!”</p>
<p>Clint stood and got close to Phil.</p>
<p>“Phil, I didn’t figure out until the last few months what was going on with me. Sometimes, it takes me a while to find the words. I’m not the most couth guy out there you know.”</p>
<p>Phil sighed and then gave Clint a kiss. “Anyone who says that about you has no validity.”</p>
<p>Clint smile was a weak one because he knew this conversation was far from over.</p>
<p>“Kate Bishop is a good kid and she’s an even better Hawkeye than I am.”</p>
<p>“Debatable,” Phil interjected.</p>
<p>“She’s been working with the Avengers for months and can hold her own. I’m barely doing missions anymore and no one will miss me at SHIELD.”</p>
<p>“I will.”</p>
<p>Clint loved Phil for that.</p>
<p>“Clint, I’m still needed here and at SHIELD. I can’t walk away.”</p>
<p>“I know that. I’d never ask you to, but I don’t want to do this for the rest of my life.”</p>
<p>“You said you wanted more.”</p>
<p>“I want a real house that I can make my own. Use my own hands. I want a yard with a garden and a magnolia tree. I want to make my own repairs rather than one of Stark’s robots. I want a draft from under the door so I can wear ugly house-shoes instead heated floors everywhere.”</p>
<p>“We’ll find a way to make it work, Clint. I love you and I want you happy.”</p>
<p>“It goes both ways, Phil.”</p>
<p>“I’ll deal with the commute.”</p>
<p>Clint hedged a bit before speaking again. This last part he’d been thinking hard on for six months. He’d never broached the subject with Phil. They’d never talked about it once.</p>
<p>“Is there something else?”</p>
<p>“When I said I wanted more, a house wasn’t the only thing.”</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>He licked his dry lips before speaking.</p>
<p>“I want us to adopt a kid…maybe two.”</p>
<p>When Phil stilled, Clint thought his heart stopped. It was like someone had dropped a two-ton lead weight between them. There was an unrecognizable look in Phil’s eyes and Clint thought he knew them all.</p>
<p>“Children?” Phil whispered. “You’ve never said…”</p>
<p>“I know I haven’t. It wasn’t anything I thought seriously about and when I did, I realized that’s the more I want, Phil. I want us to be parents together.”</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you say anything sooner? That you were considering this?”</p>
<p>“First, I just didn’t think I could do it. My old man was a shit father and it scared the hell out of me. Then I realized with you, I could do anything. You’d tell me we would be great parents together.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure we would,” Phil replied in a low voice.</p>
<p>That wasn’t an indication that Phil was all in. Clint watched Phil avert his eyes in thought.</p>
<p>“We should have talked about this a long time ago, Clint. Made sure our expectations were on the same page.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“Clint, there was a time when I considered having children someday. It was long before I joined SHIELD. But a SHIELD agent’s life is uncertain and contains a great deal of hardship as I’m sure you’re aware.”</p>
<p>Clint wanted to nod, but didn’t. Instead, he stood dumbly as Phil continued.</p>
<p>“Divorce rates are as high as a cop’s and the death probability is much higher. I’ve watched a lot of friends and fellow agents get buried while their spouses and children mourn.” Phil shook his head as if remembering. “I decided a long time ago that I would never do that to a child.”</p>
<p>“People die all the time, Phil. It doesn’t mean you stop living.”</p>
<p>“That’s not what I’m saying, Clint, and I think you know that.”</p>
<p>He did and Clint slowly turned. He made himself to the chair at the table and sit. It was as if all his dreams crashed on the rocks of a stormy seashore.</p>
<p>“You’ll never change your mind, will you?”</p>
<p>“I can’t.” A moment. “I won’t.”</p>
<p>Still, Clint had to try.</p>
<p>“Maybe…” Clint straightened and then he realized there was a tear on his cheek. He turned his head to wipe it away before speaking again. “We could try, Phil. Maybe it won’t be like you think.”</p>
<p>“God, Clint.” Phil’s voice sounded as miserable as Clint felt inside. “Do you honestly believe that would be fair to a child? Bring him or her into a home under those kinds of conditions?”</p>
<p>“Guess not,” Clint muttered.</p>
<p>Phil sighed and walked to the small wet bar. He took out a scotch and poured two fingers. He let the entirety fall down the back of his throat before speaking again.</p>
<p>“If I begged you to stay, you probably would…at least for a while. No matter which direction we took, we’d grow to resent one another. You would always be thinking what-if in every child you saw.”</p>
<p>“You would worry about not coming home with a kid there,” Clint added.</p>
<p>Neither spoke for what seemed to be an eternity. Phil had another drink.</p>
<p>“We should table this conversation for the night,” Phil offered.</p>
<p>When he started for the bedroom, Clint stopped him with a question.</p>
<p>“What’s going to happen tomorrow?”</p>
<p>Clint knew the answer as much as Phil did.</p>
<p>It late into the night and Clint sat on the edge of the bed while Phil slept with his back to him. He had tried to sleep, but tossed and turned. Clint knew how his movements would sometimes wake his husband.</p>
<p>He grabbed a pair of sleep pants and quietly left the bedroom.</p>
<p>When the door to Natasha’s opened and she only needed to see his face before allowing him inside without saying a word.</p>
<p>Clint went to the couch and Natasha headed for the kitchen. She returned shortly with a glass of chocolate milk. Clint took a drink and appreciated the hint of cinnamon.</p>
<p>It was the first time he’d told her what had been nagging at him these past months. Then he poured out the entire argument/discussion with Phil.</p>
<p>“Do you want me to talk to him?”</p>
<p>Clint’s chuckle was a little bitter. “I don’t want you giving him your displeased face or throwing him around the mats.”</p>
<p>“Quitting,” Natasha sighed. “I wasn’t sure you’d ever do it.”</p>
<p>“You knew?”</p>
<p>“Come on, Clint,” she said with a smirk. “You’ve always been a bit of a romantic and an idealist. You love Phil.”</p>
<p>“They say love is always enough.” Clint finished the glass and set it on the table.</p>
<p>“It’s not when two people want different things out of life.”</p>
<p>“I was hoping you’d help me fix this.”</p>
<p>“Clint, when it comes to children…” Natasha paused for a bit to consider her words. “It’s all or nothing. What you don’t want to hear is that if you really want this, you might have to do it without Phil in your life.”</p>
<p>That was when the tears started. Clint felt like he wanted to die and he buried his head in Natasha’s lap. She held him as he cried.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clint didn’t see Phil for three days. Sitwell had explained Phil was overseeing some clusterfuck of an operation in Madripoor. He had nothing to do except putter around the tower. There was only so much range-time he could put in. Tony and Pepper were in Malibu so the lab was out of the question.</p>
<p>Eventually, Clint wound up checking the real estate listings. It was harder than he thought. There were thousands of homes for sales all over the city. He had no idea of how to narrow it down. Clint could ask Jarvis, but it felt weird without talking to Phil first. His logic on the matter sucked. No one had to tell him that.</p>
<p>When Phil finally returned, Clint was in the kitchen doing a simple spaghetti dinner. He looked up to see Phil coming through the door with his briefcase in hand.</p>
<p>“Can we talk?” Phil asked.</p>
<p>“Sure.” Clint turned the heat down on the stove and walked around to the table where Phil was opening his briefcase.</p>
<p>“I called Rudy in legal on the way back to the states.”</p>
<p>“He’s one of Tony’s, right?”</p>
<p>“Yes. He’s retiring soon and he prepared some documents for us.” Phil reached inside and took out a folder. “Now, it’s important for you to understand that if you would rather retain your own attorney, you can.”</p>
<p>The emotions roiled in Clint’s chest and he clenched the dishrag in his hand tightly.</p>
<p>“What are you talking about?”</p>
<p>Phil opened up the file and took out a document. He slid it across the table to Clint.</p>
<p>“This is a simple divorce agreement. We split our assets and basically go our separate ways. We agree to a no-contest divorce. It would be final in a matter of weeks.”</p>
<p>“You want a divorce?” Clint could barely breathe.</p>
<p>“No, Clint. I don’t. I’m not stupid enough to believe that we can keep going like we are.”</p>
<p>“We can work it out…find a way to…”</p>
<p>“Clint,” Phil interrupted. “Be honest with yourself. Are you going to start not wanting a child? Ever?” When he didn’t answer, Phil continued. “I want you happy. It’s not going to happen when we’re like this. You know that.”</p>
<p>“You’re right, Phil. You usually are about these things, but I know I don’t want a divorce. I just can’t.” Clint shook his head. There was no way. He pushed the document back. “If you want to take me to court or whatever, that’s fine. But I’m not signing that. I fucking love you too much.”</p>
<p>Without argument, Phil extracted another document with an attached spreadsheet.</p>
<p>“These are a list of your assets and accounts. My accountant is in the process of separating them from my assets and you’ll have sole access by the end of the week. There is a list of reputable accounting firms who will do a more than adequate job of overseeing your finances.”</p>
<p>“You’ve always…” Clint couldn’t finish the sentence. Phil wouldn’t be doing that anymore.</p>
<p>“I should…” Phil awkwardly shut the briefcase.</p>
<p>“I’ll be at Nat’s for a few days before I…” Clint went to food on the stove. “Then I’ll find a place to live.” He couldn’t look at Phil while he finished the dinner. “When I get settled in, I can let you know.”</p>
<p>Clint had no idea why he’d even said it. He and Phil were breaking up. What was the point?</p>
<p>“I’m expected back at SHIELD. I’ll stay the night there.”</p>
<p>Before Clint could say a word, Phil was already gone. He silently finished the food and split the contents into two separate containers, kind of like how he and Phil were. There was no yelling or screaming, no angry silences or prolonged grudges between them. This would probably be considered amicable by most.</p>
<p>Phil likely wouldn’t show here until tomorrow evening sometime. Clint stuck one of the containers in the fridge and then packed a bag. There was no way he was staying in a place where his happiest memories of a lifetime taunted him. He had the other container in hand as he headed to the door.</p>
<p>“Jarvis, please get four packing boxes delivered here.”</p>
<p>“Yes, Agent Barton,” the AI responded. “Both you and Agent Coulson have my condolences.”</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clint wound up renting a small furnished apartment while he searched for a house. The lonely nights were the hardest of his life. He’d curl up on the bed hugging a pillow tightly to his chest. The first two nights he hadn’t slept one bit. Natasha came over and dragged him to an outdoor bistro. He asked about Phil and she just said working.</p>
<p>He finally found a real estate agent and when asked about financing, Clint told her that he had his own money. He should have noted the gleam in her eye when she heard the sum he was willing to pay out.</p>
<p>The three townhouses she showed him first were immaculate and ostentatious. Clint felt so out of place as he walked on the marble flooring and gazed up at the large chandeliers. He had the money for these places, but it felt too much like the Tower and nothing like he was looking for.</p>
<p>He wanted a diamond in the rough, a fixer upper. He wanted a yard and trees. Clint was already looking for a car and a garage was on the list. He explained it to the realtor once again who nodded and she slid opened up French doors to a library/office fit for a wealthy gentleman.</p>
<p>Natasha came with him the following week and after two more homes, they headed for Clint’s new car. The Byron Blue Range Rover was the most expensive thing he’d ever bought and he loved it.</p>
<p>Still he sighed. This house was worse than the others. All five bathrooms were covered in Italian marble.</p>
<p>“She’s only in it for the commission, Clint,” Natasha explained.</p>
<p>“I’ve told her more than once what I’m looking for.”</p>
<p>“You need a new realtor.”</p>
<p>Clint agreed before starting the car.</p>
<p>He couldn’t decide if the next realtor was worse or better. This one showed him the worst New York City had to offer. The houses were nearly beyond saving, some with mold so bad that it was too dangerous to even go inside. One had a meth lab warning from local authorities taped on the front door. Not only that, they were going into Queens which had Clint rethinking everything. It was too far out and he had no idea why he felt that way until he wondered if it was because the physical distance from Phil would be greater.</p>
<p>Natasha gave him a business card she’d gotten from Pepper. This realtor would hopefully be better in considering his wants. It was another two weeks of looking with Lexie, Pepper’s college friend. Clint liked her. She knew her business and made a point of explaining that this search would be about narrowing down the hunt. He shouldn’t expect to get everything, but Clint still hoped.</p>
<p>The next three weeks of house hunting continued. Either it was too much repairs for the worth of the house or it was wrong. Clint remembered the things he liked as a kid, despite his bad childhood. He still had to call that lawyer Lexie had told him about. Apparently, her and Pepper knew all the smartest people.</p>
<p>When he finally saw the adoption attorney, he was overwhelmed at the amount of paperwork involved. Clint was honest about his own past with Felicity and she was surprised when he told her that he was a former avenger. His face wasn’t very recognizable and he got much less attention than Iron Man, Hulk, Thor and Captain America. Phil had helped keep his face out of the media for the most part and the likeness in all the toys and memorabilia was a poor facsimile. Times were different now, she explained. A single gay man can adopt as much as anyone else.</p>
<p>Of course, the application process would take time. Six months was not unheard of.</p>
<p>Satisfied, Clint left the office feeling better than he had in a while. He slipped out his phone and tapped Phil’s picture to tell him the good news. Then he stopped.</p>
<p>“Fuck,” Clint muttered. “What the hell am I doing?”</p>
<p>On the way to the apartment, he stopped at the store and grabbed a six pack. He ate cold pizza and drank down the beer. He wanted to get drunk, but he hadn’t done that since he was a stupid teenager.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The following morning, Clint met Natasha for breakfast and felt bad about dragging her into his problems once again.</p>
<p>“For a second I forgot we broke up,” Clint said pushing the runny scrambled eggs around his plate. “You’ll tell me that it’s normal, but it won’t make me feel any better.”</p>
<p>“I’m terrible with platitudes, Clint. You know that.”</p>
<p>“Finding a kid won’t be like a house. I’ll take a two-foot tall one with red hair,” Clint said with a half grin.</p>
<p>“That’s likely to be the easiest,” Natasha said. “Raising one…well, you’ll have to figure that one out.”</p>
<p>“Whatever kid I wind up with, you’re going to be Aunt Nat and I won’t let you get out of it.”</p>
<p>Before Natasha could offer a retort, Clint’s phone rang. Lexie was on the other end.</p>
<p>“<em>Clint, I need you to meet me right now</em>.”</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>“<em>I think we’ve found it and it doesn’t go on the market until tomorrow. You’ve got a very narrow window</em>.”</p>
<p>“Um…okay.” He looked at Natasha and mouthed ‘house’. “Text me the address and I’ll meet you there.”</p>
<p>After he hung up, he said, “Want to come with?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They met Lexie at the front and Clint was having second thoughts. The façade of the brownstone wasn’t looking good. There was an overgrowth of ivy starting to cover the building.</p>
<p>“I know,” Lexie said. “The previous owner did little with the place.”</p>
<p>“Just how old is it?” Natasha asked.</p>
<p>“It was built in 1885. The original owner lived here his entire life. His great grandson passed away last month and his daughter is looking to unload it fast.”</p>
<p>Clint’s eye caught the wooden doors next to the stoop.</p>
<p>Lexie smiled. “You can convert it into a garage.”</p>
<p>Natasha and Clint followed her to the door and she unlocked it.</p>
<p>“It’s not much to look at, but the bones are still good. They did the minimum of repairs and updates.”</p>
<p>The foyer was spacious. Directly in front was a large hardwood staircase leading up the stairs. The wallpaper was peeling and Clint wondered how many layers there were. He looked down at the wooden floor and his eyes widened a bit.</p>
<p>“That’s the original flooring, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“They used planks back in the day. It’s dirty, but a good thorough cleaning and restoration would bring them back to their former glory.” Lexie took them through a doorway to their left. “This floor was used mostly for entertaining. The original owner was quite the social butterfly from my understanding. There are five rooms and a half bath on this level.”</p>
<p>Clint went to the large fireplace. The wood and brick were darkened with use over the decades, but there was no missing the incredible detail.</p>
<p>“This is fucking beautiful.” He ducked his head and smiled at Lexie. “Sorry.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay.” She grinned widely. “I knew you’d love it the moment I saw it.”</p>
<p>“How’s the rest of it?” Natasha asked.</p>
<p>No doubt Natasha would make sure Clint wouldn’t fall too much in love with it right off the bat. He was glad she was here.</p>
<p>There was a terrace with planters in the back. It was larger than others Clint had seen. He could well imagine cookouts, a little boy or girl playing, a small garden and other plants. More importantly, towards the back was the huge magnolia that stretched to the sky. In the spring, the blooms would make this place magical.</p>
<p>The second floor had a formal dining room and kitchen. There was also a bedroom and a full bath. The rooms were separated with walls and the two closets they found were small. The kitchen was a disaster. It would require a gut job, but Clint had other ideas.</p>
<p>The third floor had three bedrooms and two baths. The fourth was just a big wide space. Dirty carpet covered the floors and there were the beginnings of water damage.</p>
<p>Clint swung around to Lexie. “How much?”</p>
<p>“Nine-hundred thousand.”</p>
<p>“Seriously? I’ve seen places this size going for twice as much.”</p>
<p>“Any work will require quite an investment. The market is a little shaky, but I still think this home will go fast.”</p>
<p>“She’s right,” Natasha agreed. “I think this is what you’re looking for.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Clint sighed. He knew it in his gut. This was it. “I’ll do full price for it.”</p>
<p>“I think you should go higher. The seller needs to know how serious you are. She might decide to wait it out and see how the first week goes.”</p>
<p>Clint turned towards to Natasha and looked in her eyes. There was no doubting the confidence.</p>
<p>“One point five.” He looked over his shoulder at Lexie. “How’s that for serious?”</p>
<p>The smile grew on Lexie’s face. “It’s good. I can sell it and throw in that an avenger wants to buy it.”</p>
<p>“Former avenger,” Clint corrected.</p>
<p>“Your seller doesn’t really need to know that, does she?” Natasha asked with sure look on her face.</p>
<p>Lexie only said, “No she doesn’t.”</p>
<p>Clint got word that night his offer had been accepted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A month later after close, Clint moved into the house. Despite all the work, he was determined to live there during renovations. He bought a cheap bed and dresser for sleeping. Clint then spent a horrid amount of money on a grill and smoker. His love of cooking hadn’t diminished. The rest of his things were put in his future garage for the time being. He wasn’t about to spend any more until after the renovation was completed if he didn’t have to.</p>
<p>Inviting Tony, Bruce and Steve over would accomplish two things. One, he needed their input on his renovation ideas and two, he just missed the guys.</p>
<p>They all walked around talking about what needed done. Steve immediately loved it. He talked about the small row house he had lived in with his mother as a kid. Bruce really seemed to take it all in and offered up ideas on more environmentally ideas. Clint noted the passive home notion that he mentioned and made it a priority to find out more.</p>
<p>By the time they sat down with their burgers and beers on the terrace in the cheap outdoor furniture that Clint had recovered from the back of a thrift store, Tony was already putting forth some ideas.</p>
<p>“I mean, it won’t be Jarvis,” Tony said between bites. “But nearly as good. Your security system…”</p>
<p>“Nope,” Clint said. “No Jarvis, no brothers of Jarvis or even cousins. My security system is under my pillow and to the right of my bed.”</p>
<p>“Sometimes I think you were born a hundred years too late, Barton.”</p>
<p>Clint flashed him a grin.</p>
<p>“Clint,” Bruce said. “Were you serious about moving the kitchen down?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I want to open up the entire first level, hopefully without messing up the original architecture. I want a large kitchen with an obscene island and an informal dining room. Maybe one of those great rooms with a big sectional and comfortable pillows. There’s a huge fireplace.”</p>
<p>“That’s a lot of open space, Clint,” Steve said. “There’s a room that’s could be a bedroom.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s an idea. Also, I’d like something like an office or a library?”</p>
<p>“You?” Tony smirked. “A library?”</p>
<p>“If I’m gonna raise a kid, maybe a homework space or something.”</p>
<p>“That’s a good idea, Clint.” Bruce took a drink of his beer.</p>
<p>“The second floor is going to be three bedrooms and two baths. Maybe a playroom or something.” Clint added more ketchup to his burger. “One of those will have a master with en suite. The third floor will be a couple of bedrooms and bath.”</p>
<p>“Just how big do you plan to grow this Barton bunch?” Tony asked.</p>
<p>“I’m hoping for two kids,” Clint answered. “They may only let me have one, but I want a big house while I’m young enough to enjoy it.”</p>
<p>“And the top floor?” Steve asked. “It’s a huge space.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I thought about that. I’d like a music room. I can play piano and guitar. Maybe the kid might want to learn, too.”</p>
<p>“I’ve got to tell you, Clint.” Tony picked up his beer and leaned back. “I never pegged you for the family sort, but I’m going to help you out since you won’t let me finance your little venture.”</p>
<p>Tony took out a business card and tossed it on the table. Clint picked it up and read the name.</p>
<p>“Shit,” Clint said. “These guys are nearly impossible to get.”</p>
<p>“And you’ll pay a pretty penny for that, too. They’ll start as soon you call them. Their architect is an MIT buddy so be nice.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, Tony.”</p>
<p>“Just let me know if you decide to rub the good life you’re building into Agent’s face.”</p>
<p>“Tony,” Bruce chided.</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Clint said. “This isn’t anyone’s fault, least of all Phil’s.”</p>
<p>“That’s not what I…”</p>
<p>“Tony!” Steve interrupted sharply.</p>
<p>Clint shifted his eyes from one to the other. They were keeping something about Phil from him.</p>
<p>“Is he okay?” Clint asked.</p>
<p>“He’s righter than rain,” Tony muttered sarcastically.</p>
<p>Not knowing how to respond, Clint stood. “Anyone want another beer?”</p>
<p>He got three nods and went inside leaving the terrace door open. Then he heard them.</p>
<p>“Geez, Tony,” Steve said. “You can’t be shooting your mouth off like that.”</p>
<p>“What? That Agent already lined himself up something on the side so soon?”</p>
<p>“We don’t know for a fact that’s what’s happening, Tony,” Bruce offered.</p>
<p>Clint stilled and squeezed his eyes shut. He never thought about Phil moving on with someone else. The pain of it felt sharp like someone was moving a knife from his gut to his heart.</p>
<p>“Coulson took off his fucking wedding ring,” Tony bit out. “I can’t be the only one who’s noticed Clint still wearing his.”</p>
<p>Gazing down at the dark gold band on his finger made Clint wonder for a moment. He hadn’t taken it off because deep inside he still hoped for he and Phil to have a new life together.</p>
<p>Clint grabbed the beers and headed outside before any more bad news was overheard. He handed them off and took a seat.</p>
<p>“Phil has every right to move on. Nobody’s got a right to judge him for that. I left him.”</p>
<p>“Okay, Clint,” Bruce said. He looked at Tony and Steve. “We don’t like what happened, but you and Phil both are still our friends.”</p>
<p>“Good. Let’s keep it that way.”</p>
<p>“Absolutely,” Steve said.</p>
<p>They raised their bottles and toasted. They all looked at Tony who was rolled his eyes and finally raised his.</p>
<p>“Fine, but for the record I’m stealing Coulson’s tazer.”</p>
<p>There were shared smiles as they drank the beer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It didn’t take as long as Clint thought for the work to begin. The architect and renovation firm that he hired were quick with their ideas and plans after three meetings with Clint. It was his hope to have renovations completed by year’s end.</p>
<p>A separate firm was contracted for the exterior work which took only a matter of weeks.</p>
<p>Clint could finally move his car into the small garage with the state-of-the-art opener.</p>
<p>Inside, began the dirtiest of the work. He muttered Demo Day since that was the going term on HGTV. Clint was more than ready to get his hands dirty. Walls were knocked down, cabinets broken apart and some flooring removed due to some dry rot discovered during the process. The entire place had to be rewired.</p>
<p>Then was the first of many problems to interfere. Mold was found in three of the bathrooms which shut work down for nearly three weeks. A specialized cleaning team was brought in before restarting again.</p>
<p>Joist work had to be done and three large beams were also brought in, one of which Clint opted to not have shoved all the way into the ceiling. He loved how it added more character with it exposed and giving it a way of dividing the kitchen from the rest of the space.</p>
<p>A restoration expert was brought in with another team to see to the one hundred-thirty-five -year-old brownstone in order to preserve what they could. Three of the five fireplaces’ woodwork could be saved. The other two were replaced to a near match of the style.</p>
<p>One of the things Clint hated about the extravagant homes he’d seen before was this urge to have pristine white throughout. There was no denying the elegance, but it felt cold and artificial to him. That he would not have. Still, white cabinetry had a timeless look to it. New cabinets for the kitchen were special ordered.</p>
<p>He and Natasha canvased the city for an island. He had no idea what he was looking for, but it wasn’t any of the photos he’d been shown by the designer. One of the carpenters told him about a place in Roanoke, Virginia. They even had a show called Salvage Dawgs.</p>
<p>Clint didn’t need to think twice. He dragged Natasha with him on the trip. He loved that show and it helped the carpenter had called ahead.</p>
<p>He felt like a little kid when he met Mike Whiteside at their architectural store. Clint was shown an antique dresser and while it looked great, it was smaller than what he was looking for.</p>
<p>Mike had a bit of a grin. “I got what you’re looking for.”</p>
<p>Clint followed him to the back with Natasha trailing behind. The place seemed to keep growing with huge pieces of furniture, old door jams and window frames. He had no idea how anyone found anything as they wound their way through it all.</p>
<p>Then he saw it. Mike had stopped in front of a huge wooden counter that had to have been at least twenty feet long.</p>
<p>“It’s a store counter from the Victorian era,” Mike said. “I think about 1850 or so. We got it out of the back of an old barn in South Carolina. It needs some work.”</p>
<p>Clint knelt to get a better look at it. “It’s too damn big.”</p>
<p>“Well, son, twelve foot should do ya, right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, more than.”</p>
<p>“We’ll cut it in half, get the ends to match with some refurbished wood. We can add drawers, or some antique metal baskets to help finish off the look.”</p>
<p>“A granite or marble countertop,” Natasha offered.</p>
<p>“I like the butcher block look.”</p>
<p>“We can do both,” Mike offered. “It’ll look real pretty, I promise.”</p>
<p>“You need a second sink for your kitchen, Clint. This is perfect.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Clint agreed. “But I want both. One for the kitchen and the other can go to the music room.”</p>
<p>“Fine. Do you deliver to New York?” Natasha asked Mike.</p>
<p>Mike looked a bit unsure. “It’ll be expensive once the final bill comes due.”</p>
<p>“We have a friend who can move one to the top floor,” Natasha smiled. She looked at Clint.</p>
<p>“I don’t know, Nat. Steve’s been there almost every day.”</p>
<p>“Steve?” Mike asked.</p>
<p>“Rogers,” Natasha finished.</p>
<p>It took a moment, then Mike’s eyes grew wide. “Captain America? No, not him.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Clint chuckled. “Him.”</p>
<p>“Holy shit, we’ll deliver it for free if he’s there!” Then Mike’s eyes shot back and forth at Clint and Natasha. “Are you…?”</p>
<p>“Used to be,” Clint told him. “Nat does it because she can scare the hell out of Tony Stark on a regular basis.”</p>
<p>“He’ll be there, too?”</p>
<p>“No,” Clint and Natasha both answered firmly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was still so much work to do. Clint got occasional updates from Felicity about the application process and rather than spend time worrying, despite her assurances, he stayed busy working with the crews at the house.</p>
<p>Some of the drywall was starting to go up, but what got Steve’s attention was a part of the wall that looked odd to him.</p>
<p>“Clint,” Steve called over. “Mind if I see what’s behind this?”</p>
<p>“Sure, I don’t see any reason why not. We’ll have to replace it anyway.”</p>
<p>Steve took the hammer and punched some holes through. He couldn’t see much at first. A few more and he stepped back.</p>
<p>“This is weird,” he told Clint.</p>
<p>Both men went to work at widening the hole. It was Clint who hit something metallic.</p>
<p>“What the hell?” Clint muttered. They were able to tear more back and what they got shocked them. “This was not in the original plans.”</p>
<p>One of the restorers wandered over and his eyes grew big at the thick wrought iron. “I don’t believe it! Do you know how rare this is?”</p>
<p>“What?” Clint asked.</p>
<p>“It’s an elevator,” Steve simply replied.</p>
<p>“Not just any,” the man said in awe. “It was put in after the home was built.” He took out his cellphone and turned on the flashlight. He grinned at what he found. “Just what I thought. This is prohibition era.”</p>
<p>“Seriously?” Clint asked.</p>
<p>“It wasn’t that difficult to smuggle alcohol into homes, but this might have been used to get booze out of eyesight in a hurry.”</p>
<p>Steve looked inside. “It could go all the way up.”</p>
<p>“I want to restore it,” Clint said. “Get it working again just like before.”</p>
<p>“I would advise updating the electronics. I’ll check with the inspector for the required specs. This has to be safe and will require a security measure if you’re going to have children around.”</p>
<p>“Fuck,” Clint muttered. He glanced at Steve. “We have to call Tony.”</p>
<p>Clint wasn’t happy to see the playful shrug Steve gave him.</p>
<p>Tony came wearing a grin and it didn’t ebb one bit even after Clint instructed him to not touch anything other than the elevator.</p>
<p>While that was underway, Clint turned his attention to the bathrooms. Natasha was able to use her own unique touch to most of them. They were elegant without going overboard. Clint relented on the downstairs bathroom getting some pristine white tiling and flooring. Natasha kept to the theme of the home with some antique lighting and cabinetry.</p>
<p>He was intent on a certain style that was all his own. The oversized steam shower was a no brainer. He enjoyed the one at the Tower a lot. But the tub would be different. Clint went to a high-end dealer and bought a beautiful wooden tub. It had a fine finish with wood that been carefully layered one on top of the other. The edges looked natural with the beautiful craftsmanship. He’d sat in the display and grinned at the saleswoman who returned it. Clint paid extra in order to put a rush on it.</p>
<p>The bathroom was big, but not the monstrosity that he’d grown accustomed to at the Tower. Clint put in wood-tones and finally gave in to Natasha’s suggestion at some elegant Italian marble that added to the warm feel. He drew the line at putting it on any wall.</p>
<p>When he finally finished it, he took note of the oversized walk-in closet that had been added at Natasha’s insistence. He put thought of Phil out of his mind and continued working.</p>
<p>Gone was that itchy restlessness. Clint fell into bed with bone-deep exhaustion every night. He woke up early ready to work. Picking up a bow and arrow never crossed his mind during the entire renovation.</p>
<p>Natasha and Steve helped Clint put his own design spin. He didn’t want to go too Victorian era and he was turned off at the sight of the more contemporary style. His friends convinced him that some contemporary adds character.</p>
<p>Clint was dragged into Ikea, but came away with some basic neutral furniture for the bedrooms. He discovered a much better bedroom set for his own room and while at a thrift store, Natasha showed him some mismatched furniture that would act as a sitting area in the far corner of the bedroom.</p>
<p>The island was delivered as promised after the kitchen renovation was completed. Mike and his Salvage Dawg buddies arrived. A lot of laughter was had as Steve hefted the heavy furniture easily enough. With help, it was maneuvered into the kitchen. Damn, if wasn’t as beautiful as Mike had promised.</p>
<p>After the final piece was gotten to the fourth floor, the group sat at Clint’s new dining table drinking beer and eating pizza. By the time Clint was ready to go to bed, he was starting to believe he could do this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What Clint didn’t expect was to get a phone call from Felicity the following day while he shopped for dishes. The application had been approved.</p>
<p>Felicity had suggested going through the photos online and Clint tried. It was weird to pick a kid from a photograph. He’d meet them and see if there was a relationship in the future. It felt a little too much like testing out a new car and he didn’t like it. He’d told Felicity as much.</p>
<p>It was why she asked him to come to their office to see a five-year-old boy. Clint agreed for that afternoon. He nervously put away his purchases as the time seemed to inch along.</p>
<p>Clint headed to his room for a hot shower and took his time getting ready. He carefully shaved and dressed. He stood in front of the mirror as he put on his tie. He was nearly finished when he changed his mind about it and hung it back on the hook.</p>
<p>That was when Clint saw the wedding band on his finger. He rubbed his finger over it and sat on a chair in the sitting area. The memories were good ones.</p>
<p>He and Phil had married a year after the fatal stab through Phil’s chest. Clint and Phil chose it for the sole purpose of replacing a traumatic event with the beginning of their lives together, one filled with happiness and love. Any time they would talk about it, the recovery, Clint finding his way back to sanity it always led to the day they married. It was the best decision they had ever made together.</p>
<p>The years following were good. Clint had to admit that much. There was the occasional argument, the fantastic making up and a history together that cemented their love for one another.</p>
<p>But now, Clint was starting over…without Phil. He’d come to terms that they wanted different things now, but it didn’t lesson the overwhelming love he felt for Phil. In an hour he would be meeting a boy that could become his son and as much as he wanted Phil back, this new future would have to take precedence over everything else.</p>
<p>Clint carefully slid the ring off his finger and brought it to his lips. He took a deep breath and kissed it. Then Clint set it on the small table before leaving.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Felicity and the social worker were waiting for him when he arrived. They guided him to an office with a window. He looked through and his eyes first went to the little boy sitting on the floor with a color and some construction paper. He had thick wild dark hair and when the child glanced up at him, Clint was taken aback by the brown eyes which seemed to betray nothing. He went back to his coloring.</p>
<p>Then Clint saw the little girl who couldn’t have been more than two. A young social worker sat next to her with a variety of wooden and plastic blocks. The little girl had frilly gold/red hair and she kept her thumb in her mouth as she pushed away most of the blocks that was set close to her. She seemed to gravitate to the yellow and red ones.</p>
<p>“What are their names?” Clint asked.</p>
<p>Felicity glanced at the social worker before answering. “Guy and Sunset Spencer. Clint, you’re here to see Guy.”</p>
<p>“But they’re brother and sister.” Clint was confused. Why would they bring him here to only see one?</p>
<p>The social worker explained. “Their mother passed away a few months ago due to a drug overdose. The boy called 911. He seems to have some behavioral issues and the girl was likely born while her mother was addicted. She does have developmental problems. In cases like these, it’s difficult to find anyone willing to take both children. Please understand, Mr. Barton, we don’t want to split them up. There’s rarely a choice in the matter.”</p>
<p>“That’s just wrong.” Clint turned back to the window. Guy took another silent look at him for a moment and Sunset threw a blue block across the room. “I’ll take them both if it’s allowed. They can’t be apart.”</p>
<p>“Clint, perhaps you should go inside before making a decision like this.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Clint nodded. “Better to find out if they’ll like me first.”</p>
<p>He didn’t notice the concerned look passing between Felicity and the social worker as he eased the door open. He took a seat on the floor in front of the children. After the young social worker left, Clint looked from child to the other. He a small yellow ball and rolled it towards Sunset. She looked at him curiously, then patted the ball which sent it back towards him.</p>
<p>“Hi,” Clint began. “My name’s Clint.”</p>
<p>Guy kept silent and picked a different color. Clint gave the ball back to Sunset. She picked up an orange plastic block and tried to chew on it without success.</p>
<p>“What are you drawing?” Clint asked Guy.</p>
<p>“I know how it works.” Guy stated.</p>
<p>Clint realized he was dealing with an intelligent child. He also knew that Guy had likely seen far more than any child should.</p>
<p>“How what works?”</p>
<p>“My friend told me.” Guy changed colors again. “Parents look at you and then decide if they want you or not.”</p>
<p>“Oh. This is my first time,” Clint said. “Nobody told me how it’s supposed to work.”</p>
<p>“My first time, too,” Guy sadly admitted. “Troy explained it to me.”</p>
<p>“Seems to me,” Clint said. “You should have a say about what you want.”</p>
<p>Guy gave Clint a thoughtful look. Sunset took the opportunity to put in her two cents by kicking her feet knocking at the blocks surrounding her. She hadn’t made a sound with her thumb still stuck in her mouth.</p>
<p>“When I was about your age, I lost my parents,” Clint started. “The grownups thought they knew best. Maybe they did, but nobody ever asked me.”</p>
<p>“Did someone adopt you?”</p>
<p>“No.” Clint would never lie to Guy. He knew that much. “But I figured if I ever had a son, like you, I would always listen to him.”</p>
<p>“Just a son?”</p>
<p>Clint almost smiled. It was a test.</p>
<p>“If you decide you want me, it’ll be you and your sister, Sunset.”</p>
<p>“I heard them say that she could go to another home.”</p>
<p>“If you want me as your parent, Guy, I want both of you. I promise.”</p>
<p>“What if you change your mind about us?” He looked scared and Clint swore to do everything he could to keep that look off his face for the rest of his life.</p>
<p>“Not an option,” Clint answered. “If you want me, you and your sister will have a home as long as you want.”</p>
<p>The thoughtful look Guy was giving Clint warmed his heart. Still, he also knew he’d have to earn this child’s trust.</p>
<p>Sunset was hitting a gold and red block together which had their attention. Clint looked back at Guy and he wondered if the little boy was looking for some sort of sign from his sister. Then Guy turned back to him.</p>
<p>Clint was surprised when Guy handed him the yellow construction paper. On it was what appeared to be a brownstone with the same number of floors as his. There was a square at the bottom that could have been his garage door. Standing next to him were four stick figures. Clint knew which ones were Guy and Sunset.</p>
<p>“Who is this?” Clint asked.</p>
<p>“Sunset, me and you.”</p>
<p>“And the other?”</p>
<p>Guy just shrugged his shoulders.</p>
<p>“Does this mean yes?”</p>
<p>There was a nod and a hint of a smile.</p>
<p>Clint’s heart burst with joy. Smiling, he said, “I have to talk to some people. I think it’ll be a few days before you come home with me.”</p>
<p>After Guy nodded, Clint went to tell Felicity the news.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a conversation with Steve, both he and Clint were in Sunset’s future bedroom painting. Clint had stood back and watched as Steve sketched out the wall mural. There would be a sunrise with trees filled with gold and red leaves. At the bottom green grass with flowing flowers winding themselves up the trunks.</p>
<p>With some guidance, Clint was able to apply some general strokes while Steve worked on the more detailed aspects. Birds and butterflies were soon added.</p>
<p>“This is the biggest painting I’ve ever done,” Steve commented.</p>
<p>“I really appreciate it, too. I think Sunset will love it…well, as she gets older.”</p>
<p>“I hope you’re right.” Steve dipped his brush into the paint. “Is this because of her hair color you told me about?”</p>
<p>“She really seems to like these colors. Oranges, yellows, reds and golds. I don’t get it, especially at her age.”</p>
<p>“How old is she?”</p>
<p>“Eighteen months.”</p>
<p>“And Guy?” Steve asked.</p>
<p>“He’s five. Smart kid who’s seen more than he should’ve.” Clint was worried about him.</p>
<p>“When are they coming?”</p>
<p>“Friday. Felicity, the adoption lawyer, thinks I’m nuts,” Clint said with a sigh. “Both kids have issues. They gave me a list of specialists and therapists to check out.”</p>
<p>“I imagine you’ll have a tough road ahead of you.”</p>
<p>“Come on, Steve. I’m not even sure I can give those kids what they need, but I can’t turn my back on them either. Hell, I could make things worse.”</p>
<p>“Phil always said…” Steve stopped. “Sorry.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay. Finish what you were saying.”</p>
<p>“You have good instincts, Clint. What we’re doing here says as much. Trust yourself.”</p>
<p>“Thanks.” Clint turned back with his paint-filled brush.</p>
<p>They continued on painting for a few minutes. Clint focused on adding brown to the trunk.</p>
<p>“So, how is Phil?”</p>
<p>“Working.”</p>
<p>“That’s exactly what Nat says whenever I ask.”</p>
<p>“We hardly see him anymore. He’s always either at SHIELD or on a plane somewhere.”</p>
<p>“Must be tough for him to do his stuff with the Avengers.”</p>
<p>“He gave the job to Sitwell. My guess is that Jasper won’t last another month. He and Tony have butted heads more than once.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t think he’d ever give that up, Steve. He loved doing it.”</p>
<p>“Maybe when you were there, but over the last several months he’s pulled farther and farther away.”</p>
<p>“If I thought talking to him would help, I’d do it. When I first got with SHIELD, Phil helped me. That was because I wanted it, needed it.”</p>
<p>“I’ve heard the stories,” Steve said with a chuckle.</p>
<p>“Maybe you could get him involved with more team stuff,” Clint offered. “Phil listens to you.”</p>
<p>That was when Steve stopped painting and turned towards Clint.</p>
<p>“Phil moved out of the Tower four months ago, Clint.”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>It was the last thing Clint ever expected to hear. Phil had loved living there despite his grumblings about Tony Stark. Phil remained deep in his thoughts for the remainder of the day and into the night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There wasn’t much time until Guy and Sunset would come to their new home. With Natasha and Bruce’s help, Clint bought toys and games to fill their rooms. He got clothing sizes from the social worker and bought a variety of needed garments for both children. Sunset was still on a bottle and wearing diapers. Clint put together a changing station with all the necessities.</p>
<p>Natasha told Clint about a retired SHIELD agent who could help him on days when he couldn’t have both kids with him. Clint was reluctant at first, but after meeting Glory Prescott he was sold. She had a bright smile and was knowledgeable. Glory had earned a degree in child development on her off time before retiring. She exclaimed that she loved being needed and while she didn’t have children of her own, she relished the idea of not just teaching but also what she could learn from them.</p>
<p>With Thanksgiving only a few weeks away, the fall weather was a bit on the chilly side. Clint packed the car with a jacket for each child. He double checked the car seats for the kids before leaving.</p>
<p>Natasha and Glory would be waiting for them. Keeping a check on his nervousness was in vain. Clint focused on anything and everything that could go wrong in hopes he could prepare himself. It’s what Phil would do, he remembered.</p>
<p>Felicity and the social worker brought Clint to an office where more paperwork awaited him. It took nearly an hour to go through it all. The social worker gave Clint even more information about child-rearing and the kids’ special needs. He was offered parenting classes as well. The social worker made a point of highlighting support groups for parents who adopted special needs children. Clint appreciated that and he felt a little more confident about the path he was on.</p>
<p>Felicity told him that the adoption hearing was scheduled for February. In that time, he could change his mind. Clint gave her a nod, but no way would he do that. This was forever as far as he was concerned.</p>
<p>When Clint was taken to Guy and Sunset, he smiled. Seeing the relief in Guy’s face was both great and concerning. Guy was expecting him to change his mind.</p>
<p>Clint went to Sunset, knelt and gathered her in his arms. She whimpered a little at first and as he held her, she seemed to study his face. He chuckled as she ran her small hand over his eyes and nose.</p>
<p>“Hi, Sunset.”</p>
<p>“She’s not sure yet,” Guy informed him. “She’ll be okay.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, buddy.”</p>
<p>Felicity and the social worker followed them to the car. As the social worker put the children’s small suitcases in the back, Sunset immediately started fussing once in her car seat. Clint got to the other side and shoved Guy’s booster closer to Sunset and helped get him secured.</p>
<p>After exchanging a few words and goodbyes with Felicity and the social worker, Clint got behind the wheel and was soon on his way.</p>
<p>“Okay,” he whispered to himself. “Here we go.”</p>
<p>The drive began well enough. Clint adjusted the rearview mirror to keep an eye on them, but he could see the signs of distress on Sunset’s face. Guy put his hand on her arm which seemed to help.</p>
<p>The rain began and Sunset’s discomfort slowly turned into a full cry. Clint debated on whether to pull over or not, but decided to get them home. He hoped she’d settle down once there.</p>
<p>Once the car was in the garage, Clint hurried to get Sunset out of her seat. She was in full cry mode. He gathered her close as they came inside and she seemed to settle a little.</p>
<p>Natasha and Glory looked on.</p>
<p>“I guess it’s the move?” Clint questioned.</p>
<p>“Of course,” Glory said. “Children do stress.” She looked at Guy. “Hello, Guy. My name is Glory. Does your sister have a favorite drink? I would imagine she is thirsty right now.”</p>
<p>“She likes orange juice.”</p>
<p>They all went to the kitchen and Clint glanced at Natasha who gave him a reassuring caress on his arm.</p>
<p>“It’s a little acidic for her age,” Glory said as she readied the bottle. She added a little tap water before screwing on the nipple.</p>
<p>As soon as the bottle was in Sunset’s reach, she grabbed it and immediately began drinking.</p>
<p>“Maybe she needs a sippy cup or something.” Clint had no idea despite his reading up on the subject.</p>
<p>“There’s one sure thing I can tell you, Clint,” Glory said. “Children, babies all have a tendency to set their timeframes for just about everything. You’ll know.”</p>
<p>“Wise advice,” Natasha said.</p>
<p>“I’ll start dinner,” Glory offered. “You should show the children their rooms.”</p>
<p>Seeing Guy’s eyes light up, Clint got to his feet. Still holding Sunset who was enjoying the juice, he smiled.</p>
<p>“That’s a good idea. Let’s go check it out.”</p>
<p>“Go ahead, Clint,” Natasha said. “I’ll help with dinner.”</p>
<p>The stairs were too much of a trek carrying an eighteen-month-old in his arms so Clint brought them to the elevator. Guy’s eyes were full of wonder as Clint opened it. There was a small thumb pad that Clint could use which was out of reach of most children. He then released the lock and slid open the door.</p>
<p>Once inside, Sunset’s eyes looked up at the wooden inlay starburst in the ceiling of the elevator. Clint heard her coo of approval. He pushed for the second floor and the elevator rose. It was lined with a thin polymer material that could barely be seen in order to keep small fingers within the confines.</p>
<p>They stepped off the elevator and Clint made sure it was closed before going to Guy’s room.</p>
<p>Once inside, Guy was amazed. That was a joy Clint wanted to see every day of his life. Three walls were blue. The fourth was black and white checkerboard with Guy’s name in grey. There were a variety of toys that Guy touched with his hand as if he were afraid to break them.</p>
<p>“They’re yours, Guy,” Clint assured him. “If something get’s broken, we’ll fix it.”</p>
<p>“I’ve never had anything like this.”</p>
<p>Blinking back tears, Clint understood. He hadn’t either. He never had someone swooping into his life to fix all the broken things in his life or wanting to love him when he was this age.</p>
<p>“Sunset’s room is right next to yours. Go ahead and play. We’ll be close by.”</p>
<p>After a tentative nod, Clint took Sunset into her room. She was still on the orange juice holding it lazily in her hands. He suspected she would fall asleep before long after such a big day already.</p>
<p>Clint was going to settle into the rocking chair when Sunset saw the wall he and Steve had painted. She let her bottle drop to the floor and scrambled to get down. He kneeled and once out of his arms, she crawled to the wall and put her face next to it. There was a sudden giggle and Clint was stunned to watch her pull herself to her feet, then stretch her arms across it as if she were attempting to hug the sun.</p>
<p>It was damn beautiful.</p>
<p>That was when all doubts fled away from him. There would be difficult times ahead, but he loved these kids. His job would be to give them a home filled with love and stability. They were his children. He felt it in the deepest part of his heart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was a period of settling in for the new family. They spent the weekend getting to know the home and each other. Guy was entranced with his room and his new toys. He spent a great deal of time exploring them and the house with Clint’s help.</p>
<p>Sunset, on the other hand, continued to gravitate towards toys with gold, yellow and red colors of varying degrees. When Clint was in the kitchen with the kids, Sunset sometimes stopped playing with her toys and would crawl to the French doors leading out to the terrace. She wanted outside it seemed, but Clint quickly learned it was not always the best idea. Sunset was forever fascinated by Natasha’s hair with every visit.</p>
<p>It was nice to see Natasha’s softer side around the children. His best friend and near sister was quick to smile around the kids. Natasha spent a lot of her time playing with Sunset while Clint cooked dinner.</p>
<p>Food was one of the first problems he noted. Sunset refused green vegetables. It wasn’t a big surprised, but she absolutely did not like red meat at all. Sunset liked pasta, chicken and fish. It was Natasha who pointed out the coloring of some of the foods. They were similar to her preferred toys.</p>
<p>The doctor at Sunset’s first appointment with Clint didn’t seem concerned. He suspected autism and explained it wasn’t unusual for autistic children to prefer a certain color of food. He suggested vitamin supplements.</p>
<p>Thanksgiving went well. Clint opted for a small meal rather than the larger one he and Phil used to have at the Tower with the Avengers. He and Natasha had a lot of fun with Guy and Sunset who were fascinated with the new foods. It was just another sign of what they had lacked before their mother died.</p>
<p>It was after the holiday that things began changing. Guy was becoming more involved with his drawing and coloring. It was a challenge at times for Clint to get his attention. Sunset was crying more and throwing tantrums. There were times nothing seemed to soothe her and Clint was at wits end. She would lay on the floor and kick her feet. Once he caught her at the French door when she intentionally hit her head on the glass. Thankfully, nothing broke and she was uninjured.</p>
<p>Guy’s therapist said to let him keep drawing and to engage him when he could. What bothered Clint was Guy’s secrecy about what he was drawing and coloring. The child hid the paper under his bed, between the mattress and box springs and in his dresser. Clint had run across them and some of it he wasn’t sure what he was looking at. There were likely more hiding spots around the house. Clint made the decision not to push Guy about opening up to him. It wasn’t causing a major problem and not harming anyone.</p>
<p>With Sunset, Clint went back to the doctor. He was referred to a specialist since the doctor decided to rule out autism after another visit. While this one was nice and seemed attuned to Sunset’s issues, Clint wasn’t sure if she was the right one. The crying, tantrums and screaming seemed to be getting worse. Especially at night. Sunset had been sleeping through the night in the beginning, but that was quickly becoming a thing of the past.</p>
<p>Then he was handed a prescription.</p>
<p>“Isn’t Sunset a little young for this?” The notion of medicating Sunset was nauseating.</p>
<p>“It’s not common,” Dr. Montgomery said. She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her desk. “Even ones as young as your daughter can suffer anxiety that can be difficult for you and debilitating for her. This is a low dose medication that won’t make her lethargic or anything else that would take away from her quality of life. You can even cut it in half to begin with. This is about seeing what works best for Sunset.”</p>
<p>“I’m just not sure if this is right for her,” Clint told her.</p>
<p>“This isn’t a fix, Mr. Barton. There are plenty of other methods at your disposal as I’ve told you. This medication is a last resort if nothing else is working. She wouldn’t be on it for a lifetime. I believe she will eventually get past these difficulties the more she grows and the more stability you offer. Just think about it and if you have any questions or concerns don’t hesitate to call.”</p>
<p>After his next few questions were answered, Clint went to the waiting room where Natasha sat holding Sunset in her lap drinking a bottle of apple juice. He smiled when Sunset dropped her drink on the floor and scrambled to get to Clint.</p>
<p>That night after both children were in bed, Clint told Natasha about the doctor’s recommendation.</p>
<p>“I’m not comfortable with this, Nat. Medicating a kid seems like such an extreme thing to do. For parents who fail.”</p>
<p>“This isn’t about you or your ability to parent,” Natasha gently told him. “It’s about Sunset and what she needs.”</p>
<p>“You think I should give it to her.”</p>
<p>“You should see it as one option in helping her. She seems to be in pain, emotionally speaking.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Clint roughly agreed. He hated seeing his daughter like this. Others would see Sunset as a spoiled child, but he knew better.</p>
<p>In the end, Clint had the prescription filled. The first time he gave it to Sunset, she’d been screaming and crawling furiously around the floor. Anything he tried to give was soundly rejected. He pushed half of the small pill into a slice of banana and she quickly ate it. In an hour, she had calmed somewhat. She wanted to be held this time around and Clint took her to her room. They played together on the floor and Guy made an appearance. The boy had been avoiding them when Sunset erupted like this.</p>
<p>With Christmas, the children were thrilled at the lights and decorations. Clint delighted in decorating the home and his children’s excitement grew as gifts were left under the tree. They trekked to Rockefeller Center to see the tree. Seeing Santa was out of the question. Guy had shaken his head no when Clint asked. There was no reason to subject Sunset without her brother nearby.</p>
<p>Two days after Christmas, Clint had been fast asleep when he heard the baby monitor. He groaned when he thought about Sunset’s medication that he’d forgotten downstairs. Clint forced himself to sit upright and when he looked towards the door, Guy stood quietly.</p>
<p>“Your sister wake you up, too?” The boy nodded. “Get in bed and I’ll get her. We’ll all sleep together tonight.”</p>
<p>Guy hurried over and crawled under the covers as Clint left the room. He found Sunset had pulled herself to a standing position and was full on crying. Clint picked her up.</p>
<p>“Hey, sweetheart. Another rough night for the wild girl.”</p>
<p>Her soft crying continued as he carried her back to his room. He was thankful that he’d put all their rooms on one floor. Clint laid her down next to Guy and got under the covers. Sunset remained restless. She twisted and turned on the bed, trying to sit up.</p>
<p>“Guy?” Clint asked. “Was Sunset like this before you both came here?”</p>
<p>“Sometimes,” Guy answered. “Mommy gave her a bottle of milk or juice.”</p>
<p>Sunset had been a baby at the time. She hadn’t wanted a bottle at night after their first week here. She was growing accustomed to sippy cups.</p>
<p>Then Clint got an idea.</p>
<p>“Guy, I have to go get something. Can you make sure Sunset doesn’t get off the bed?”</p>
<p>“I’m good at that.”</p>
<p>“I’ll hurry back.”</p>
<p>Clint rushed out of the room and ran to the fourth floor. He found what he needed and hurried back as fast as he could. Sunset was sitting next to Guy.</p>
<p>He sat on the bed and propped the guitar on his lap. Clint strummed it a few times to catch the tune. Sunset was suddenly interested and Guy rolled to his side.</p>
<p>“My mom used to sing this song to me when I was about your ages.”</p>
<p>Clint strummed the tune for a minute as he recalled the words. Much of the song was rather sorrowful, but he was going to stick to his favorite part.</p>
<p>
  <em>You are my sunshine, my only sunshine</em>
  <em><br/>
You make me happy when skies are gray<br/>
You'll never know dear, how much I love you<br/>
Please don't take my sunshine away.</em>
</p>
<p>The soft playing continued and Clint repeated the lyrics three more times. Guy was falling asleep and Sunset had laid her head on the pillow. Her eyes were nearly closed. He went for another few minutes and then set the instrument down. Clint carefully got on the bed and he was soon fast asleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He didn’t really want to go. It was just a bad idea all around. That’s what he’d told Natasha when she insisted that he accompany her to Tony Stark’s New Year’s Eve party at the Tower. Apparently, she didn’t believe him as he was fitted for a new tuxedo. Pepper always insisted on formal dress.</p>
<p>Still, Clint was looking forward to seeing everyone. His former teammates, their significant others and likely their friends. Those parties always turned out to be much better than what Clint had expected when he was with Phil.</p>
<p>“Damn it.” Clint wondered if Phil would be there. Natasha still said he was always working and he didn’t doubt that one bit. Clint still remembered the long hours Phil put in before Manhattan.</p>
<p>He went downstairs where Glory and the kids were waiting.</p>
<p>“Wow,” Guy said. “You look pretty.”</p>
<p>Clint shouldn’t be blushing, but he felt his cheeks warm nonetheless.</p>
<p>“Yes, you do,” Glory agreed with a grin. She had Sunset in her arms who giggled and held her arms out to him.</p>
<p>He got her and she pushed her lips on his cheek. Kissing was a new thing for his daughter and she did it every chance she got.</p>
<p>Natasha let herself in and she looked quite spectacular with her black evening gown with white ribbon shoulder straps. She exchanged hugs and kisses with the children before they left.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was typical of past New Year’s Eve parties with Tony Stark as host of the gala event. Clint was pleased to see friends who were surprised by his presence. Natasha would whisk him away when questions about Phil began.</p>
<p>He was thoroughly enjoying himself. Clint took to the dance floor a few times and stuck with non-alcoholic drinks. He’d indulge in a glass of champagne at midnight.</p>
<p>While dancing with Natasha, he told her about singing to the kids and how it calmed Sunset every time. He hadn’t had to give her any medication since.</p>
<p>“And you never thought your music would never take you anywhere,” Natasha said with sly look.</p>
<p>“We’ve been in the music room more. Sunset loves it there. I’m thinking of adding an art section for Guy and getting some more instruments, kid sized ones.”</p>
<p>“I think you’re getting a hang of this parenting thing, Clint.”</p>
<p>“Even when it’s bad with Guy hiding away to draw or Sunset throwing her bottle across the room, I still wouldn’t trade it for anything,” Clint told her. He swung her around.</p>
<p>Natasha gave him a kiss on the cheek. The song ended and as she left to get them drinks, he moved off the dance floor and stood near the large window. The nighttime New York skyline always amazed him.</p>
<p>“Hello, Clint.”</p>
<p>When he turned, Clint lost the ability to speak for a moment. It was Phil. His brain tried to remember the last time he’d seen him. Phil was wearing his own tux and Clint drank in the sight of him. His husband looked a bit thinner, maybe a little tired. Still, Phil was the most stunning man he’d ever laid eyes on.</p>
<p>“Phil. I didn’t know you were here.”</p>
<p>“I just arrived. My flight was delayed and I wanted to avoid Stark’s badgering for not showing.”</p>
<p>“Makes sense.”</p>
<p>“You look well,” Phil said.</p>
<p>“You moved out of the Tower,” Clint countered.</p>
<p>“I’m sure I don’t have to explain why.” Phil stepped a bit closer. “I gave Jasper the position and he didn’t last long. I suggested to Fury the Avengers should go independent from SHIELD and we can leave it to them to call us when needed.”</p>
<p>“They’ll never call. You know that.”</p>
<p>“The Avengers and SHIELD don’t always work on the same page. There’ve been some difficulties.”</p>
<p>Clint didn’t want to talk about SHIELD or the Avengers right now with Phil. He didn’t like where that road could lead.</p>
<p>“It’s good to see you, Phil.” Clint wasn’t going to lie to himself about how much he missed him.</p>
<p>“Natasha said you adopted two children.”</p>
<p>“It’s not final until February, but it’s basically a done deal.”</p>
<p>“A boy and a girl?” Phil asked.</p>
<p>Then Clint smiled thinking about Guy and Sunset at home. “Yeah, they’re…”</p>
<p>Looking at Phil, Clint suddenly remembered. Phil didn’t want kids. He didn’t want to change his life for them. He was never going to make the attempt. Those thoughts hurt deep down and Clint was suddenly angry.</p>
<p>“I…” Clint swallowed the hard lump in his throat to hide the pain. “I have to go.”</p>
<p>“Clint.”</p>
<p>He escaped Phil’s presence and found Natasha at the bar with Pepper.</p>
<p>“Clint,” Pepper said. “Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“I’m fine, Pepper.” Clint looked at Natasha. “I need to leave. Okay?”</p>
<p>Natasha was looking over his shoulder and Clint turned his head. Phil stood across the dance floor with eyes only on him. Clint looked back at her.</p>
<p>“It’s not his fault.”</p>
<p>“Alright,” Natasha said. “Go. I’m staying here at the Tower for the night.”</p>
<p>Clint kissed her on the cheek before leaving.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Clint got home, he thanked Glory for watching the children and headed to the bedroom. As Clint undressed, he spotted the wedding band where he’d last set it. He walked over and picked it up. Seeing Phil still weighed heavily and he was starting to finally believe that maybe it was truly over. Clint carried the ring to the fireplace and he placed it on the mantel. He still wasn’t ready to let go.</p>
<p>Clint went to the bed and sat. Movement caught the corner of his eye and he turned to see Guy standing in the doorway.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Clint said softly. “Did you have a nightmare?”</p>
<p>Guy shook his head.</p>
<p>“Couldn’t sleep?”</p>
<p>“I didn’t want to sleep until you were home.”</p>
<p>It warmed Clint’s heart that Guy thought of this place as home. He saw his son biting at his bottom lip.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Clint asked.</p>
<p>“Are you sad?”</p>
<p>Clint remembered his promise to never lie.</p>
<p>“Yes, a little.”</p>
<p>“How come?”</p>
<p>“I saw someone I hadn’t seen in a long time.” Guy had no idea that Phil even existed. How do you explain to a child about the love of his life that he’d probably never know?</p>
<p>“You weren’t happy?”</p>
<p>“Sometimes it’s hard for grownups, Guy. When you’re older, you’ll understand better.”</p>
<p>That seemed to satisfy Guy. Clint watched him walk into the room and then go to the dresser near where his mother’s photo sat.</p>
<p>“I miss Mommy,” Guy said. “I would be happy if I saw her, but she was sick.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay to miss her and you can tell me anything, Guy. I miss my mom a lot, too.”</p>
<p>“Your mommy was pretty.” Guy gazed at her photo. “Mine was, too, but sometimes I can’t remember her face. I tried to draw it, but then it goes away like smoke in the air.”</p>
<p>Clint knew exactly what Guy meant. He’d probably have forgotten his mother’s face without the photograph. He and his son had more in common than Clint realized.</p>
<p>“Maybe I can find a picture,” Clint offered. “I can ask a friend.”</p>
<p>Guy turned with wide eyes. “You can?”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to make any promises, but we’ll try our best.”</p>
<p>The boy rushed over and threw himself into Clint’s arms. He pulled back and Clint let him go.</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome,” Clint smiled. “You want to sleep here with me?”</p>
<p>“I’m too big now,” Guy answered as if the question was a silly one. Then he turned serious. “Unless you need me to.”</p>
<p>“I’ll be okay.” Clint couldn’t love him more right now.</p>
<p>“Night.”</p>
<p>“Goodnight, Guy.”</p>
<p>He watched Guy leave before crawling under the covers. He wished Phil could see his incredible and beautiful children. It didn’t hurt nearly as badly as he had expected and sleep was easy to come.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the three days since seeing Clint at the New Year’s Eve party, Phil Coulson had thought little else of the man that had become such a part of his heart. After Clint left that night, Phil went home, stripped off the tie and jacket, poured a hefty glass of scotch and sat on the couch. He’d downed almost half of it and spent the remainder of the night with the remains of the alcohol in his hand.</p>
<p>Phil eventually fell asleep on the couch in his small apartment and woke up the next morning bleary-eyed still wearing his clothes from the night before. He stumbled off the couch and headed for the kitchen. Phil put a pot of coffee on and as he waited for the hot liquid, he rubbed eyes.</p>
<p>All he saw was Clint, proud and beautiful, wearing that tuxedo which seemed to show the strong powerful man Phil knew had always existed. Clint hadn’t suffered under Phil’s absence one bit. The opposite was true. His husband had grown and thrived without Phil.</p>
<p>Phil could honestly be happy with that. He really was, but it also showed him something else. Without even knowing it, Phil had held Clint back. It was the only explanation. He was willing to go the distance with Clint no matter what, but when the subject of children and family came up Phil had steadfastly refused.</p>
<p>The coffee finished and Phil rinsed out a dirty mug to fill. The black liquid burned his tongue and he didn’t care. Phil carried the cup with him to the bathroom and set it on the sink. He stripped down and proceeded to scrub his body under the blistering hot water. It was as if Phil was trying to wash the past year’s grime away. He hated himself for denying himself what Clint had yearned for.</p>
<p>It was nearing noon when Phil arrived at his office. He had stopped for a large coffee and an apple fritter along the way. A large stack of folders were still on his desk and two thick classified messenger envelopes sitting on top of the closed laptop.</p>
<p>Phil came to the office without missing a day since that night. He usually stayed well past dinner and once it was almost midnight before he’d left. There were two scheduled overseas trips in the next two weeks, classified testimony before an intelligence committee in Washington and wrangling Tony Stark for a new hellicarrier design.</p>
<p>Four days after seeing Clint at the New Year’s Eve party, Phil looked up to see Natasha entering his office.</p>
<p>“Natasha,” Phil said. “I thought you were leaving today for Brussels.”</p>
<p>“Tomorrow.” Natasha took a seat in front of him and crossed her legs.</p>
<p>Phil was reminded just how deadly she could be while languid and desirable. She’d never voiced her displeasure at the breakup with Clint, but he’d known it in subtle ways most would never realize. He appreciated her assurances Clint was doing well.</p>
<p>“What can I do for you?” It was likely a stupid question given how things had ended between he and Clint. “If it’s about the other night…”</p>
<p>“It’s not. I’ve been careful to not get in the middle, but you and Clint and your relationship is much bigger than whatever it was that happened.”</p>
<p>“He’s angry with me.”</p>
<p>“I’m not here about that.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>“I have a friend who needs a favor.”</p>
<p>“A friend?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Natasha leaned forward, picked up a pen from his desk and a post-it. She wrote on it and slid the paper across to him. “A full background.”</p>
<p>“Your friend wants me to do this?” Phil raised an eyebrow at her.</p>
<p>“He doesn’t need to know everything…right now.”</p>
<p>“And you can’t?”</p>
<p>Natasha casually leaned back. “My resources are somewhat limited in this area and I don’t believe my tactics would be appreciated. Besides, he only asked for a photo.”</p>
<p>“But you’re asking for more.”</p>
<p>“There are concerns,” Natasha mysteriously replied. “Some of which my friend may not want to face at this time. This might help him with that.”</p>
<p>“I’ll be sure to get it to you,” Phil told her.</p>
<p>She smoothly stood and started for the door.</p>
<p>“I could be in Brussels longer, Phil. You know how these things can go.”</p>
<p>With the door closed behind her, Phil sighed. He picked up the post-it note and studied the name. There was nothing unusual about it.</p>
<p>Natasha had known full well what she was doing when she dropped this in his lap.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Three days later a snowstorm was brewing and headed towards New York. With Natasha’s mission taking longer than anticipated, Phil made the call to take what information he had to Clint. He would have blamed Natasha for purposefully extending it were it not for the fact that she’d uncovered experimental weapons being smuggled into the country.</p>
<p>It was nearly ten o’clock when Phil stood in front of Clint’s brownstone. He’d been sorely tempted to drive by like he was still in high school. Phil had done that when he caught the eye of the tight end after a football game. Staying away had been a wise decision. That’s what Phil told himself on those days when not being with Clint were harder than others.</p>
<p>Phil breathed deeply as he crossed the street with his briefcase in hand. He hesitated for a moment before knocking on the door.</p>
<p>The door opened and Phil was taken aback by the sight of Clint. He wore a threadbare dark blue t-shirt and denim jeans. The man could still take his breath away.</p>
<p>“Phil.” Clint obviously hadn’t expected to see him. Then he saw the realization in his eyes. “Natasha.”</p>
<p>“Yes. She’s still in Brussels. I can just drop this off and leave…”</p>
<p>“No, it’s okay. Come on in.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” Phil stepped over the threshold and he was stunned at the beautiful interior. The dark hardwood staircase with its intricate design was amazing. “This is beautiful.”</p>
<p>“Some of it had to be replaced,” Clint explained.</p>
<p>Phil nodded. He followed Clint through the formal living room past the large dining table.</p>
<p>“Is that an elevator?” Phil couldn’t believe it.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s the only thing Tony was allowed to touch after we found it.”</p>
<p>The kitchen was just as stunning. It opened into a den with a large sectional and TV. Children’s toys were piled off to the side. An oversized fireplace filled one wall. The flames made it a cozy atmosphere. Through the French doors leading to the terrace, a light snow was beginning to fall.</p>
<p>“Would you like something to drink?” Clint asked interrupting his thoughts.</p>
<p>“Coffee would be nice.”</p>
<p>“Tea,” Clint countermanded.</p>
<p>Phil nodded. Clint had never liked the amount of coffee he drank. He set the briefcase on the large island and froze when he saw Clint’s suspicious eyes on it. It was strange how this inanimate object had played such a role in their breakup. Phil opened it and took out the color photo.</p>
<p>While the tea brewed, Clint studied it.</p>
<p>“She was beautiful,” Clint murmured.</p>
<p>“Yes. Allison Spencer. She was born December 14<sup>th</sup>, 1992.”</p>
<p>“She was older than I thought, but she looks like a kid here.”</p>
<p>“There’s more if you want to hear it. I know it’s not what you asked for.”</p>
<p>“I knew it when Natasha agreed. Go ahead.”</p>
<p>Clint continued with the tea while Phil spoke.</p>
<p>“She ran away from Terre Haute, Indiana at the age of fifteen. What you have there is the most recent photo we could find. It’s from her junior high yearbook. We did find a record of odd jobs here and there. Given her age finding work would have been difficult. How and when drugs began is anyone’s guess. Her body was found in a basement apartment in Queens after a call to 911 from a child in late September. CPS took immediate custody of the children.”</p>
<p>The tea finished and Phil took a drink. It was delicious with a taste of mint and honey.</p>
<p>“Contact was made with Allison Spencer’s parents and they were informed of the children. They refused to take them. Their reasons are unclear.”</p>
<p>“Goddamn it,” Clint bit out. “These are their grandchildren. How can they just turn their backs on them?”</p>
<p>“I could contact them if you’d like.”</p>
<p>“No, they don’t deserve them. If they change their minds, they’ll know how to find me. I’ll make sure of it. But I’m not reaching out to people who never wanted them.”</p>
<p>Phil nodded. He reached into the briefcase and took out another file.</p>
<p>“There’s something else I felt you should know in the interest of full disclosure. It will be difficult for you to hear.”</p>
<p>“What is it, Phil?”</p>
<p>“The children have different fathers. The boy…”</p>
<p>“Guy,” Clint said.</p>
<p>“I beg you’re pardon?”</p>
<p>“His name is Guy.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” It was an unusual name. “And the little girl?”</p>
<p>“Sunset.”</p>
<p>Phil suddenly wanted to see what a little girl named Sunset looked like. He wanted to see both children who had such a loving and protective father in Clint. His husband would never allow it, Phil thought. Why would he since Phil had made his feelings clear so long ago.</p>
<p>“Guy’s father is Calvin Manchester. He’s serving a twenty-five to life sentence at a federal penitentiary in upstate New York.”</p>
<p>“For what?”</p>
<p>“He attempted to rob a bank. He took a hostage and nearly killed her in the process. There was a litany of charges, not to mention the violent criminal history.” Phil handed Clint the file. “His previous parole officer indicated a girl was living with him before becoming pregnant, likely Allison Spencer. There is a police report indicating he had beaten her and…” Phil took a deep breath before speaking again. “Her injuries indicate she was raped by him almost nine months before…”</p>
<p>“God.”</p>
<p>Clint looked sick to his stomach and he sat on the edge of the sectional.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Clint. I know this isn’t what you expected to hear.”</p>
<p>“I knew things must’ve been bad, but this…” Clint rubbed his eyes. “That bastard’s never getting out again, right?”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t seem likely. His sentence is severe for the fact that he’s considered too violent to ever see the light of day. The warden is an acquaintance and he indicated Calvin Manchester is one of the most violent inmates he’s come across. It’ll be some time before he can even get a parole hearing.”</p>
<p>“Good. I hope he fucking rots in there.”</p>
<p>Phil couldn’t agree more.</p>
<p>“What about Sunset’s father?”</p>
<p>“We don’t know. There was no name listed on her birth certificate and anyone who knew her at the time didn’t see anyone. Allison never said a word. The social worker notated it when she gave birth to her daughter.”</p>
<p>“Take this,” Clint said holding out the folder. “I don’t want it in the house.”</p>
<p>Phil did and he placed it back into his briefcase.</p>
<p>“I’m assuming Allison was buried by the state,” Clint said.</p>
<p>“Cremated,” Phil corrected. “Clint, I know this has to be a blow, but don’t let it undo everything you’re trying to do here.”</p>
<p>“Stop being so fucking inspirational, Phil. Don’t you think I know that already?”</p>
<p>Phil watched Clint shoot to his feet and go to the kitchen. He removed a bottle of water from the fridge.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“I’m not that same insecure kid you found in Prague all those years ago.”</p>
<p>“You became everything I thought you would.”</p>
<p>“Except for becoming a father.”</p>
<p>The heavy pause weighed between them almost an eternity it seemed.</p>
<p>“You should go, Phil.”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Phil agreed in a low voice. He picked up the briefcase and turned around only to see a little boy with thick wild dark hair wearing Iron Man pajamas. He froze at the sight.</p>
<p>Clint hurried around Phil to the child.</p>
<p>“Hey, buddy. What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>“Bad dream.”</p>
<p>Phil could only stare as Clint gathered the boy into his arms. Guy, he remembered. Seeing how gently and lovingly Clint picked him up was the most tender sight he’d ever seen.</p>
<p>“Who’s that?” Guy asked.</p>
<p>“He’s a friend,” Clint assured him. “His name is Phil.”</p>
<p>Guy gazed at Phil with sleepy eyes and rested his head on Clint’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“Have a good night,” Phil said. “I’ll let myself out.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Phil blamed exhaustion for sitting in a diner at near midnight. Seeing Guy in Clint’s arms would forever be burned in memory. Wanting to comfort Clint after delivering such terrible information wasn’t going to change anything.</p>
<p>He pushed at the greasy fries with his fork and glanced at the half-eaten hamburger with the wilted lettuce. The terrible food was enough to push the hunger away. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a home-cooked meal. God, he missed Clint.</p>
<p>“This is the saddest sight I’ve ever seen in my life and I’ve lived a life more than most.”</p>
<p>Phil looked up to see a young woman, with arms crossed giving him a smirk for the record books. Her long dark hair was pulled back in a half-hazard ponytail.</p>
<p>“Excuse me?”</p>
<p>“This place is a real dive. You couldn’t have picked better?”</p>
<p>“I’m sure we’ve never met so I don’t believe you have any right to criticize my choice of eating establishments since you’re here as well.”</p>
<p>“That’s only because I followed you.”</p>
<p>He cursed inwardly. Had things gotten so bad that he’d stopped checking for tails?</p>
<p>“Cut yourself some slack.” The girl slid into the booth across from him. “It’s only a few blocks from your place.”</p>
<p>“Who are you?”</p>
<p>“Skye,” she said with a grin. “And you’re Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD.”</p>
<p>Phil gave up on the food and pushed his plate aside. He opted for the bad coffee instead.</p>
<p>“Why have you been following me?”</p>
<p>Skye took three sugar packs from the holder and lined them up in front of her on the table.</p>
<p>“Because I want to be one, too?”</p>
<p>“One what?”</p>
<p>“A SHIELD agent. You know, fight the bad guys, aliens or whatever.” She leaned in close. “So tell me, just how big are Thor’s arms? A girl has got to know.”</p>
<p>Hiding his smile, Phil had to admire her gumption.</p>
<p>“You want to be a SHIELD agent.”</p>
<p>“Sure. I’ve got skills.”</p>
<p>“What are those?”</p>
<p>“It’s not exactly something one brags about in public.”</p>
<p>“We’re the only ones here, Skye,” Phil informed her. He watched her move the sugar packets around. He took a drink of the coffee and the taste was so bad that he decided he had enough. Phil took some bills from his pocket and set them on the table. He stood. “I don’t think you really want to join SHIELD.”</p>
<p>“Why’s that?” Skye’s snarky grin told Phil enough.</p>
<p>“You want something from us, but you know it’s likely to get you arrested. You also know more than what you’re willing to tell. You’ve seen my face when I worked with the Avengers. I’m your way to SHIELD.”</p>
<p>“You really think you’ve got my number, don’t you?”</p>
<p>Phil saw it in her eyes. He leaned in close to make sure she understood.</p>
<p>“I don’t like being used.”</p>
<p>He didn’t look back as he left the diner.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The distant sound of knocking roused Phil from his sleep. As he opened his eyes, the sound grew more insistent. Groaning, he grabbed his phone and checked the time. It was six in the morning.</p>
<p>He pushed himself up and closed his eyes as the pounding on his door continued. Phil willed his legs to move as he stood. He got to the door, unlocked it and swung it open.</p>
<p>It was Skye holding something. Phil wiped his gritty eyes.</p>
<p>“Do you have any idea what time it is?”</p>
<p>“I brought goodies.” She held up a container with two coffees and a bag. He raised an eyebrow suspicious of her motivations. “Coulson, I’m here to tell you the truth. Just give me a chance.”</p>
<p>That looked and sounded far more sincere. He still had his doubts, but he held the door open allowing her inside. Her hoodie was wet with melted snow and her hair did look damp as well.</p>
<p>“Set everything on the coffee table,” Phil told Skye. He grabbed a clean towel from the kitchen and handed to her. They both sat on the sofa as she dried off.</p>
<p>Phil took the coffee and removed the lid. After taking a sip, he was pleased with the taste.</p>
<p>“This is good. Thank you.”</p>
<p>“Anything was better than the sludge you were drinking last night.” Skye removed a warm cinnamon roll from the bag. She unwrapped it and set it in front of Phil. “I was surprised something that good could be decaf.”</p>
<p>“Decaf? It’s not real coffee?”</p>
<p>“It’s real coffee, Coulson,” Skye said with a laugh. “It’s better actually.”</p>
<p>“I prefer real coffee with caffeine.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure you do, but you strike me as someone who over-caffeinates regularly.”</p>
<p>Phil relented and took another drink.</p>
<p>“So, talk.”</p>
<p>“What no breakfast chat?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Fine, but this could take some time which is why I showed up at the butt crack of dawn before you go to work.”</p>
<p>“I took the day off because of the storm.” And Fury swore to put bars on his front door if he attempted to leave. Phil had no doubt his boss had his one good eye on him. “I’m waiting.”</p>
<p>Skye slipped her finger inside the front of her blouse. She set it next to the cinnamon roll. It was a micro flash drive. He leaned over and opened his SHIELD laptop. After slipping into the slot, he hit a couple of keys and then a SHIELD document appeared. Much of which had been redacted.</p>
<p>“What is this?”</p>
<p>He glanced over at Skye who was slumped against the cushion.</p>
<p>“It’s everything I know about me.”</p>
<p>“There’s not much here.”</p>
<p>“I’ve been shuffled around to foster homes most of my life. I discovered the last group home was also the very first. The mother superior told me a year ago that it was a SHIELD agent who left me there when I was a baby. She died.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“I have hacked into every single government agency I could find and even some private ones. SHIELD had a few vulnerable windows that I exploited and this is all I could find.” Phil watched her avert her face, then wipe off a hidden tear. “It’s why I became a hacker, Coulson. I want to know who I am and where I come from. Maybe even find my parents if I have any.”</p>
<p>Phil didn’t know what to say. He closed the laptop and remembered last night with Clint.</p>
<p>“Skye, you may not like what you find.”</p>
<p>The tear-filled eyes looked back at him and Phil could almost feel her pain.</p>
<p>“It can’t be any worse than what I’ve imagined.”</p>
<p>It might be, he thought, but couldn’t say it aloud.</p>
<p>“Okay, I’ll help you.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Coulson. I’ll never be able to repay you for this.”</p>
<p>“Just no more hacking into government agencies. Come to me first.”</p>
<p>“You got it.”</p>
<p>Phil took a bite of the warm cinnamon roll.</p>
<p>“Where do you live?”</p>
<p>“Um…my office.”</p>
<p>“You have an office?”</p>
<p>“There’s a mattress…” Skye removed a chocolate donut. “In my van.”</p>
<p>“You’re living in your van in New York City in the middle of winter!”</p>
<p>“It’s not that bad,” Skye groused before taking a bite.</p>
<p>Phil sighed. “I have a spare room. You’re staying there until we can get you settled in something that’s not a death trap.”</p>
<p>“You really care!” Skye said with teasing eyes.</p>
<p>“Only because I don’t want to read about a frozen body in the paper.” Phil couldn’t help but smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Phil took part of the following morning off once the storm had tapered off and the snow was being pushed out of the way. They retrieved some of Skye’s belongings and Phil arranged to have the van towed to a vehicle storage facility.</p>
<p>After lunch, he took her to SHIELD HQ where he got her a visitor’s badge. On the way to his office, he laid down the law about her restrictions and assured her that he could likely get the unredacted report.</p>
<p>He sat her down on the sofa in his office with a SHIELD laptop with minimal clearance and instructed her to write up everything she knew including dates and names. She was to include everything no matter how minor it seemed. Phil even had her phone the group home to see if the mother superior had kept anything related to Skye when she’d been left there.</p>
<p>In the end, there wasn’t much and Skye looked disappointed.</p>
<p>“I’ve started investigations with less.”</p>
<p>They spent the next week chasing down every lead and report. Some information was added, but the progress was slow going.</p>
<p>It was the best Phil had felt in a while. Helping Skye had energized him in an unexpected way. He couldn’t explain it. Rather than delve more into it, he chose to remain focused on the task at hand.</p>
<p>With Skye staying with him, Phil opted to finally cook at home. It had been months since he’d done anything more than make coffee or nuke a can of soup. Since he wasn’t a good cook to begin with, spaghetti seemed the logical choice. He bought the ingredients even though the sauce would come out of a jar.</p>
<p>Phil was pleased with the progress and he glanced up to see Skye looking at his Captain America memorabilia on the shelf. She’d mostly worn out her teasing which he didn’t mind.</p>
<p>“Who’s this?”</p>
<p>Skye held up a framed photo of him and Clint together from their wedding. She came closer carrying it with her.</p>
<p>“You both look really happy.”</p>
<p>“We were,” Phil admitted. He’d never really talked about his relationship with Clint and how it ended. “Clint Barton.”</p>
<p>“Oh, wow. That’s Hawkeye, isn’t it?” Skye smiled widely. “You had a thing with an avenger.”</p>
<p>“It was more than that.” Phil stirred the pasta more and tried to remember how to check for doneness. “We were married.”</p>
<p>“You were?”</p>
<p>“Still are, technically, since we haven’t gone through with a divorce.”</p>
<p>“Are you?”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Divorcing him?”</p>
<p>“At some point I imagine we will. He could meet someone.” Phil checked the sauce and it appeared to be coming along.</p>
<p>“You still love him, don’t you?”</p>
<p>It took a moment for Phil to reply. The more recent memories of Clint, while still painful, made him love him even more.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Phil answered in a low voice. “I suppose I always will. We’ve been apart for a while now and I can’t seem to stop.”</p>
<p>“Does he love you?” Skye gently asked.</p>
<p>“I don’t think so, Skye.”</p>
<p>She looked down at the photo, then at Phil. “You guys look so much in love. Do you want to talk about what happened?”</p>
<p>“Let me finish this and I’ll tell you what I can.”</p>
<p>It didn’t take long for the meal to be readied. Skye sliced the bread while Phil set the small table. After they seated, he gave her a brief explanation.</p>
<p>“It sounds like to me you just need to tell him how much you still love him, AC.”</p>
<p>Phil loved the nickname despite his weak protestations. Seeing the hope in Skye’s eyes made him want the same thing.</p>
<p>“I wish it were that simple, Skye.”</p>
<p>“Isn’t love supposed to uncomplicate the messes, so you can see through to what’s important and fight for it?”</p>
<p>“I used to think so. Clint is happy and he has what he’s always wanted. I was too blind to see it until it was too late.”</p>
<p>“Would you change your mind about having kids, a family…the whole happily ever after ending?”</p>
<p>It took Phil a long time to answer. He could say yes and listen to Skye’s encouragement, but it wasn’t an honest answer. Saying no was nearly a lie. So he settled for the only one he had.</p>
<p>“I don’t know.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The second week into their search, Phil got an urgent message on his phone. He glanced at Skye on his office sofa and made a call.</p>
<p>“Hey, it’s me…I’m sorry to bother you, but there’s something you have to know…Kingston Hughes escaped custody two days ago during his prison transfer…I’ll have someone on it soon, but you needed to be made aware…you remember what he did and said?...I know that, but…you should take this more seriously. I can see to your…”</p>
<p>The call was ended and Phil sighed. “Damn it.”</p>
<p>“Something wrong,” Skye asked.</p>
<p>“Nothing that can’t be taken care of right now.”</p>
<p>Phil had no idea just how big of a mistake he was making when he made his next call.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was only a few days later that had Phil balancing his regular work duties and helping Skye. He handed off two more overseas operations to Sitwell which would have required an extended trip to Argentina.</p>
<p>Once Jasper was briefed, Phil spent part of the morning guiding Skye through SHIELD protocols and the rest reading through a large selection of reports in the area of the group home where she had been raised. There was far more than he had anticipated.</p>
<p>Things went south after Phil sent Skye to the cafeteria for their lunch. The door swung open, hitting the wall and Clint stormed through.</p>
<p>“What the hell, Phil!” He yelled.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Phil shot out of his chair. “The children…!”</p>
<p>“They’re fine no thanks to you!” Clint stalked closer. “I decided to take Guy and Sunset to the park. Finally, a decent sunny day! Only you forgot just how good my eyesight is! Two hidden cameras and three agents are watching my house!”</p>
<p>“Clint…,” Phil began.</p>
<p>“You trained me, remember? I know how to fucking blend in because of you. Did you think I wouldn’t know how to spot other agents doing the same damn thing?”</p>
<p>“Kingston Hughes made his intentions clear,” Phil pressed. “I only track the ones who are mostly likely to make good on their threats. You know that!”</p>
<p>“Jesus, Phil.” Clint didn’t hide his exasperation. “I was half dead when I kicked that bastard through the door. He couldn’t even get up off the ground! The asshole was barely a third rate mobster who was trying to better his station in life!”</p>
<p>Phil remembered. Clint had been taken right under the nose of an incompetent field handler. A tranq had taken Clint down and he’d been dragged to an isolated farm where he’d been tortured for over twelve hours. It hadn’t taken long for Phil to find him. The memory of Hughes crashing through the door wasn’t one to forget. Neither was Clint walking out covered in bruises, cuts and blood. He would never forget the burns on Clint’s chest from being electrocuted. Clint spent two weeks recovering after that fiasco.</p>
<p>“Anyone who comes near my home or my kids, I will end them. Period.”</p>
<p>“Please, be smart, Clint. You’re a former SHIELD agent and avenger. You have enemies.”</p>
<p>“You think I don’t know that?” Clint’s voice was lower, but his eyes darkly glittered. “You think I’m not prepared for that possibility? Do you even know me anymore, Phil?”</p>
<p>Phil glanced over to see Nick Fury in the doorway, but keeping silent.</p>
<p>“Fuck, you don’t even know how much this place has warped your view of the world, do you? It’s got you seeing cloak and dagger around every corner. You’ve been here too long and you forgot what’s important.”</p>
<p>He had no idea what to say to Clint. Phil was trying to protect him and his family. His attention was drawn to Nick who’d entered the room.</p>
<p>“Agent Coulson, how much leave do you have accrued as of now?”</p>
<p>“Sir, 247 days.”</p>
<p>“I am ordering you to take thirty days beginning tomorrow. If you so much as show up at any SHIELD facility or act in any capacity as a field agent during that time, it’s two weeks of unpaid suspension added to that. Am I clear?”</p>
<p>“Yes, sir.”</p>
<p>Phil looked to Clint who turned around and left. Then Skye came through the door carrying their lunch.</p>
<p>“Um…is this a bad time?”</p>
<p>“Hand everything over to Sitwell and Ramirez, Phil,” Nick instructed. He glanced at Skye. “Take your protégé with you.”</p>
<p>Phil sat back down and looked at Skye.</p>
<p>That evening at Phil’s apartment, he told her what happened. Neither spoke for a moment.</p>
<p>“Your search will have to wait a little while longer.”</p>
<p>“I’ve waited this long.”</p>
<p>Skye picked up the remote and started a movie.</p>
<p>“Princess Bride?” Phil asked.</p>
<p>“Escapist fluff is good. Watch and you’ll see.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The following morning, Phil puttered around the kitchen working on a small breakfast for him and Skye while she was in the shower. With his enforced leave they were discussing on how to spend the time until he could be back at SHIELD.</p>
<p>The knock at the door surprised him and he was even more so when he opened it.</p>
<p>“Clint, what are you doing here?” Phil let him inside.</p>
<p>“Listen, I’m sorry for blowing up at you yesterday. I know you had the best of intentions.”</p>
<p>“I overstepped my bounds. I should have respected your wishes.”</p>
<p>Clint straightened when he heard the shower turn off.</p>
<p>“Is someone here with you?” Then his eyes widened. “Oh, did I…”</p>
<p>“No,” Phil jumped in. “It’s not what you think.”</p>
<p>“It’s not?”</p>
<p>The bathroom door opened and Skye came out with a towel on her head. She wore shorts and a lacy top.</p>
<p>“Holy fuck,” Clint breathed.</p>
<p>Skye just walked forward wearing a smile. “Hi, I’m Skye.”</p>
<p>“Hi,” Clint replied. He looked at Phil then seemed to come to his senses. “Yeah, okay. Phil, you’re coming to stay with me.”</p>
<p>“I’m what?”</p>
<p>“I think you should stay with me and the kids.”</p>
<p>“Why?” Phil asked slowly.</p>
<p>“Because it made sense this morning and during the drive here. I realize you have…” Clint looked at Skye who suddenly grinned.</p>
<p>“He’s right, AC. You should,” Skye quickly said. “I’ll even pack for you.”</p>
<p>Phil watched Skye spin around and head for his bedroom.</p>
<p>“No suits!” Clint hollered.</p>
<p>When she was out of earshot, Clint leaned in.</p>
<p>“What the fuck, Phil! Are you insane? Is this some midlife crisis thing?”</p>
<p>“Skye?” Phil questioned in disbelief. “She’s a friend that I’m helping out.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure your “friend” is over eighteen?”</p>
<p>Phil rubbed his face. Clint just had to add air quotes.</p>
<p>“Do you think that low of me?”</p>
<p>“Sorry, no, I don’t. It’s just that she’s someone’s niece or something. People are going to get the wrong idea.”</p>
<p>“She had nowhere to go, Clint. I couldn’t…” Phil almost said ‘turn his back on her’, but he knew Clint understood.</p>
<p>There was another knock at the door.</p>
<p>“What now?” Phil muttered. He opened it to see Nick filling the doorway. “Great. Come on in and join the party.”</p>
<p>“Barton,” Nick acknowledged.</p>
<p>“Director,” Clint said.</p>
<p>Skye came back with one of Phil’s shoulder bags.</p>
<p>“That doesn’t look like much,” Phil said.</p>
<p>“Suits galore,” Skye said. “Everything else…not so much.”</p>
<p>“I’m not even going to ask,” Nick said. “I’ve got some information you might be interested in, young lady.”</p>
<p>“Her name is Skye,” Phil said. “You’ve been looking into this?”</p>
<p>“I like to keep my hand in all the cookie jars, Phil. You know that.”</p>
<p>“Of course.” Phil glanced at Clint.</p>
<p>“I can step out,” Clint offered.</p>
<p>“It’s fine,” Skye told him. “I trust you.”</p>
<p>“You don’t know me.”</p>
<p>She just smiled and motioned for Nick to begin.</p>
<p>“We should get comfortable for this,” Nick advised. After everyone took a seat, he began. “What I’m about to tell has not been documented by any agent anywhere. The redacted document you did get your hands on won’t tell you much about what happened.”</p>
<p>“What did happen?” Skye asked. “Why did a SHIELD agent leave me at that group home?”</p>
<p>“There was a small village in the Hunan province. It was brutally attacked. By whom, no one knows. As far as we can find out, everyone was killed apart from an infant. There were several SHIELD agents who were trying to fight off whatever or whoever it was. You were found during the attack and most of the agents were killed trying to save you. The last one remaining managed to get you out, contacted another agent who you were handed off to. The instructions were to keep you circulating through a system that was designed by the agent who left you at the group home before being killed less than two weeks later. The mother superior appears to have done just that.” No one said a word for a moment and Nick looked to Skye who was looking away and not hiding her tears. “I know this isn’t the news you wanted, but you had a right to know.”</p>
<p>“How did you find all this out?” Phil asked.</p>
<p>“That’s something no one can ever know, Phil. SHIELD agents gave their lives for your friend for a reason. We’re going to keep doing what they died for and find out the truth. I promise.”</p>
<p>“Skye?” Clint softly asked.</p>
<p>“Every foster home I was in, I always hoped this was it. I’ll get a family, but it never lasted. The family I thought I might never have has been there all along, protecting me every single day. It’s SHIELD.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Skye,” Phil said.</p>
<p>“Coulson says you want to be an agent of SHIELD. Are we going to be a means to and end to solve your mystery?”</p>
<p>“Even if all I learn is what you told me, I want to be an agent of SHIELD more than ever.”</p>
<p>“Good enough,” Nick said. “Tomorrow morning at seven am sharp, you’ll report to SHIELD HQ where you will receive credentials allowing you on the premises. You will be directed to Agent Melinda May who will oversea your training from beginning to end.”</p>
<p>“Seriously?”</p>
<p>Phil was pleased to see the excitement in her eyes.</p>
<p>“She’s tough as hell and smart. Don’t fuck it up.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I mean, yes sir.”</p>
<p>“Don’t fake it,” Nick warned before leaving.</p>
<p>“Congratulations, Skye,” Clint said. “May is one of the best. Just don’t try to make her smile. She’s called the “Calvary” for a reason.”</p>
<p>“Don’t call her that,” Phil said. “You’ll feel it in every bone of your body if you do.”</p>
<p>“Geez, guys, don’t you want me to join SHIELD?”</p>
<p>Phil stood and before he could move, Clint already had his bag. He took cash out of his wallet and set it on the table.</p>
<p>“Eat or you’ll get scurvy.” Phil walked with Clint to the door. “Check in and let me know how you’re doing.”</p>
<p>“I will, AC. Thanks for everything.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Phil resented that he liked Clint’s range rover. It was likely one of the millions of changes he hadn’t been a part of. He folded his arms once he was buckled in.</p>
<p>“Phil, it’s not going to be that bad. If you honestly don’t want to go…”</p>
<p>“I’ll go. Only because this is a really nice car and I’m hungry. I missed breakfast.”</p>
<p>“Good.” Clint started the car. “There’s a frittata with your name on it.”</p>
<p>“Who makes frittata? I’ve never met a person that does,” Phil complained.</p>
<p>He looked suspiciously at Clint who chuckled as he put the car into drive.</p>
<p>The house was even lovelier with the light coming through the windows. Phil took it all in as he followed Clint to the kitchen where an older woman was busying herself.</p>
<p>“Phil, this is Glory.”</p>
<p>“Glory Prescott,” Phil remembered. He shook her hand. “I read your reports about the work you did with child soldiers during your time at SHIELD.”</p>
<p>“Agent Coulson,” Glory smiled. “Would you like something to drink?”</p>
<p>“Coffee, please and call me Phil.”</p>
<p>“Of course. Tea it is.”</p>
<p>Phil shot Clint a look. “Just how much are you telling people?”</p>
<p>“Your reputation precedes you,” Glory explained. “If your exploits didn’t, your love of coffee certainly does.”</p>
<p>Clint chuckled. “Glory, are the kids upstairs?”</p>
<p>She held up the baby monitor. “I left them playing in Sunset’s room. I was about to go check on them.”</p>
<p>“We’ll do that. Keep Phil’s tea warm.”</p>
<p>Phil followed Clint to the stairs.</p>
<p>“Your home is quite amazing, Clint.”</p>
<p>“You should’ve seen it before all the renovations. It was a blast to the past since the previous owners never really updated the place.”</p>
<p>“It must’ve taken months.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Clint agreed as they kept going. “Still, there are some drafty spots.”</p>
<p>The creaking of the steps as they progressed had Phil looking down.</p>
<p>“I kept that,” Clint told him. “The noise. It reminds me just how old this place is and I can hear anyone going up and down it, too.”</p>
<p>“A security measure?”</p>
<p>“A pretty good one, I think.”</p>
<p>They got to the second floor.</p>
<p>“I put the kids on the same floor as me. The third floor has three bedrooms and two bathrooms. I’ll probably convert one of the bedrooms later when the kids decide they don’t want their rooms too close to the old man.”</p>
<p>Clint stopped in front of an open door where Guy and Sunset were. The boy had a notepad across his lap and a thick pencil in his left hand. Phil watched Sunset hurriedly crawl to Clint who met her halfway.</p>
<p>Seeing the little girl’s hair told Phil she’d been aptly named. The red and gold in her hair gave her an angelic quality. She would grow up to be quite beautiful.</p>
<p>Phil glanced at Guy whose studious eyes remained on him. There was something in the way the boy was looking at him and he couldn’t put his finger on it. Curiosity, maybe?</p>
<p>The mural got his attention.</p>
<p>“That’s beautiful, Clint.”</p>
<p>“Steve did most of the work. Sunset loved it the first time she saw it.”</p>
<p>Phil moved closer to Clint and Sunset.</p>
<p>“Hey, Sunset, this is Phil,” he told the little girl.</p>
<p>She giggled a little and reached out for Phil. Unsure, Phil raised his hand and she grabbed his finger.</p>
<p>“She likes you,” Clint said. “Want to hold her?”</p>
<p>“No, I shouldn’t,” Phil uncertainly replied. He let Sunset move his hand back and forth as she cooed and smiled. “Maybe when we get to know one another better.”</p>
<p>Phil was glad Clint didn’t push the issue.</p>
<p>“Guy,” Clint said. “Go put your things away. It’s time for breakfast.”</p>
<p>“Not hungry,” the boy said as he focused on his drawing.</p>
<p>“You can have cereal and juice,” Clint offered. He glanced at Phil. “Guy doesn’t like eggs at all.”</p>
<p>Guy reluctantly stopped his drawing and left the room. Phil had no idea how to interact with him and the strange looks he was getting had him wondering if that was even a possibility.</p>
<p>They all sat at the dining room table eating their breakfast. Really, the frittata was much better than Phil had expected. Glory had added biscuits and bacon. He smiled at watching Clint cajole Sunset to eat who seemed to enjoy the attention as much as the food.</p>
<p>“I’m done,” Guy said.</p>
<p>“You’ve only eaten half your cereal,” Clint observed.</p>
<p>“I ate bacon, too.”</p>
<p>“Okay, take your bowl to the kitchen,” Clint told him.</p>
<p>Phil watched the boy slide off the chair and carry the bowl and spoon away. A minute later, Guy was headed back upstairs.</p>
<p>“Clint,” Glory said. “Why don’t you show Phil where he’ll be staying. I’ll take care of Sunset until it’s time for me to leave.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Clint added a little more of the frittata to Sunset’s tray since the plate went to the floor at the start of their breakfast.</p>
<p>They stood and Phil found his bag where he’d left it earlier. He followed Clint through the office/library/fitness room to another.</p>
<p>It had a queen size bed, a dresser and a TV. The room was tastefully decorated it and Phil knew.</p>
<p>“Natasha, I take it.”</p>
<p>“It’s the one room she got complete say over. Sometimes she’ll spend the night. Don’t worry, Phil. She was more than happy to forgo staying here when I told her you were coming.”</p>
<p>“No surprise.” Phil went to the bathroom and was startled at the spaciousness. It was done in white subway tile with a large steam shower in the corner. There was antique lighting on each side of the mirror.  It was almost spa-like.</p>
<p>“Come on, I’ll give you the grand tour. I don’t get to show off too often.”</p>
<p>“Sure.”</p>
<p>He followed Clint out and they started back up the stairs.</p>
<p>“Is this your day usually? Just taking care of the kids?”</p>
<p>“Sometimes. I try to keep a schedule for the kids for bedtime and meals, but still flexible enough that no day is the same. Today we’re going to stay around here. One of the kids’ therapists gives me ideas for games and learning. If the weather’s agreeable we’ll go for a walk or to the park a few blocks over. Sometimes we just watch TV downstairs and goof off.”</p>
<p>They stopped at a bedroom.</p>
<p>“Glory comes a few days a week to help out with the place and the kids. I’ll go for a run or something to get out of the house. She complains I don’t take enough time for myself.” Clint smiled. “She’s right.”</p>
<p>When Clint pushed open the door it was not a child’s bedroom. It was his.</p>
<p>Phil waited while Clint stepped inside.</p>
<p>“It’s got a huge walk-in closet that I will never have enough clothes for,” Clint commented.</p>
<p>The huge king size bed had Phil’s attention at first. Off to his left was a comfortable sitting area with a beige cushioned chair, a retro table with a lamp and a very purple chaise lounge. Behind that was a large stone fireplace. Phil didn’t miss the wedding band sitting near a photo of the children.</p>
<p>“Just how many fireplaces do you have here?”</p>
<p>“Five,” Clint admitted. “This house was built in 1885 so I guess it was a must.”</p>
<p>Clint went to a set of double doors. “You have got to see this bathroom. It’s my favorite room in the house.”</p>
<p>When Phil saw it, he looked at Clint who just shrugged. The large shower was reminiscent of what they had at the Tower. But Phil was quickly drawn to the wooden tub.</p>
<p>“It’s stunning.”</p>
<p>“Go ahead and touch it. It’s like sitting on smooth glass.”</p>
<p>Phil did. “You’ve probably gotten a lot of enjoyment out of this.”</p>
<p>He kept his eyes on the tub and couldn’t help but imagine Clint luxuriating in it. The firm body stretched with soap suds suddenly appeared before him.</p>
<p>“Yeah, so, there’s more to see.”</p>
<p>Phil was decidedly uncomfortable and he walked past Clint. When he was outside the bedroom, he watched Clint appear.</p>
<p>“You’ve already seen Sunset’s room. Guy’s is next.”</p>
<p>It was purely a boy’s room with racing cars, toy dinosaurs and more. Only Guy was nowhere to be seen.</p>
<p>“Where is he?” Phil asked.</p>
<p>“Sometimes he likes to hide with his drawings,” Clint said with a sigh. “I try not to push since it’s so important to him.”</p>
<p>“You’re not worried about where he is?”</p>
<p>“We’ve talked about it. He usually goes on the fourth floor, but sometimes he’ll wind up in one of the other bedrooms. Guy is a kid who likes his space when he doesn’t have to worry about Sunset. I’ve tried to respect it, but the secrecy about his drawings bother me.”</p>
<p>“What does the therapist say?” Phil asked.</p>
<p>“As long as he’s not hurting himself or others, he’ll be okay. I engage him as much as I can. Don’t get me wrong, Phil. Guy will play like any other kid and he mostly stays where I can find him.”</p>
<p>“You’ve done well with both children, Clint.”</p>
<p>“We’ll see about that.”</p>
<p>Phil followed Clint to the third floor which was just as stunning as the others. The fourth was fantastic and it was where they found Guy. He was still bothered by Clint’s last comment.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Clint said to Guy. The child was sitting on a beanbag chair with his notepad. Clint knelt in front of him. “I was wondering where you got off to. You’ve been awful quiet today. Is there anything you want to talk about?”</p>
<p>Guy shook his head. He closed the notepad and stood.</p>
<p>“I’ve got a cool game for us to play today,” Clint said. “Mindy sent it over for us to play with.”</p>
<p>Guy just shrugged his shoulders.</p>
<p>“Do you remember Phil? He came over one night.”</p>
<p>Phil watched Guy as he nodded.</p>
<p>“Hello, Guy,” Phil said. “Maybe you could show me one of your drawings.”</p>
<p>He said nothing.</p>
<p>“I’m sure if you asked Glory, she’ll give you some juice,” Clint said.</p>
<p>After Guy was gone, Phil said, “I don’t think he likes me.”</p>
<p>“He doesn’t know you. Give him time.”</p>
<p>“Does he know about me? Us?”</p>
<p>“I’ve never said anything, Phil. I didn’t want to add any more to all the problems I was dealing with after getting the kids. I’m sure Guy will have questions later.”</p>
<p>“It’s just that he looks at me like he knows something.” Then Phil straightened. “Did you say anything about my having SHIELD watching your home?”</p>
<p>“Of course not,” Clint denied. He shook his head and folded his arms. “But something came over him that morning.”</p>
<p>“What happened?”</p>
<p>“After I bundled up the kids and got Sunset in her stroller, we went down the steps. Once on the sidewalk, Guy wanted to go back inside. He kept trying to pull me back and even yanked on Sunset’s stroller. When I finally got a good look at him, he was scared to death, Phil. I think he must’ve saw them. I looked around and that’s when I spotted the hidden cameras and the agents.”</p>
<p>Clint’s history of spotting the unsee-able was well documented, but it didn’t explain Guy’s awareness.</p>
<p>“Could he have overheard our conversation when I phoned you about Hughes?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Maybe. I was trying to keep my voice down.”</p>
<p>“If he knew you were speaking with me, it would explain why he’s wary.”</p>
<p>“Give it some time, Phil. He’ll get to know you.”</p>
<p>“I hope you’re right.”</p>
<p>Clint gave his arm a gentle rub before leaving the room. Phil sighed at the warmth left behind. He couldn’t remember the last time Clint had ever touched him. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to drag his husband into the bedroom and onto the soft bed.</p>
<p>Phil gave the room a final look. On one end was a baby grand piano, two guitars and other instruments, mostly children sized. The other end had children desks, a couple of easels, paints, colors and other assorted art items sat on a counter like the island in the kitchen. It was a colorful room filled with a few beanbags, some toys and more. Clint spent a lot of time here with his children.</p>
<p>Suddenly, Phil wanted to as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The day went as expected and Phil enjoyed watching how Clint played with the children. One of the new games had magnets with a yellow case that opened to a magnetic backboard. The colorful shaped magnets allowed for making faces and other decorative shapes. Clint would ask questions and while it was mostly Guy answering them, Sunset took her favorite colors and handed them to Clint who made flowers, suns and stars.</p>
<p>That evening they enjoyed a homemade pizza by Clint. It was delicious. Everyone laughed with Sunset who took great joy in getting as messy as possible. The enjoyment ended afterwards when it came to cleanup.</p>
<p>Phil was pleased that Guy helped him clean up after his sister while Clint had her upstairs for a bath. Not many words passed between them, but it was comfortable.</p>
<p>After both children were in bed, Phil and Clint relaxed with a game of chess. It was one of the many things he’d missed since their breakup.</p>
<p>“So, how was your first day?” Clint asked before moving his pawn.</p>
<p>“Much better than I expected,” Phil admitted. “I was outright scared I’d break one of them at first.”</p>
<p>Clint chuckled. “The most badass agent of SHIELD getting taken down by children. No one would believe me if I told them.”</p>
<p>“Terrorists, spies and kingpins I can handle,” Phil smiled. “I’m completely out of my element with anyone under the age of ten.”</p>
<p>“You’re not the only one.” Clint watched Phil take his pawn. “I’ve had the kids for a while now and sometimes I have no idea what the hell I’m doing.”</p>
<p>“You’re an expert in my eyes, Clint.” Phil took a drink of his beer. “I can tell something’s bothering you about them. Want to tell me about it?”</p>
<p>Sighing, Clint leaned back in his chair.</p>
<p>“Sunset turns two in a couple of months. She’s still not fully walking and hasn’t spoken a word. They tell me that her mother’s drug use is why and that she will eventually reach the normal progress of a toddler that age, but I have a hard time believing that. Then there’s Guy. He’s supposed to start kindergarten in the fall and he’s never been to preschool. He’d rather draw than learn letters or numbers. He’s not a normal kid, Phil. He gets quiet, reserved. He’ll talk to me, but there are things in him and for the life of me, I don’t know how to get him to really open up no matter how hard I try.”</p>
<p>“Clint,” Phil began. “I know you may not believe this, but you really are doing an amazing job with both children. They love you.”</p>
<p>“Didn’t think you were an expert, Senior Agent Coulson.”</p>
<p>It was meant in jest and Phil saw it in Clint’s eyes.</p>
<p>“You’re concerned and rightly so, but you love them, too. Consider it advice from an outside observer.”</p>
<p>“I’ll keep it in mind.”</p>
<p>Phil knew these kinds of doubts would likely lessen over time. He’d seen it with junior agents and Clint Barton upon his first few months at SHIELD.</p>
<p>Still, seeing him in his home, happy with a family made Phil warm inside. It saddened him, too, because his time here would end and he’d go back to his old life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next few weeks passed without incident except for what was normal with two growing children. Phil was growing more comfortable day by day with them. He’d fed Sunset several times and took to carrying her around the house from time to time.</p>
<p>A few times Clint had to leave with Guy for an appointment with Phil overseeing Sunset. It mostly went okay except for the crying that sometimes overtook her. He’d seen Clint sing to her while strumming is guitar and wished he possessed that gift. Phil solved it with his cellphone of children’s songs. One day, he spent an hour with her on his lap while he showed pictures of Clint. Phil told her the day and what they were doing. It seemed to entrance her and before long she fell asleep in his arms. Clint had walked in with Guy and when Phil looked at him, he saw him doing something he hadn’t seen in a very long time. Clint ducked his head, wiped his cheek and then turned away.</p>
<p>Phil made an effort to get to know Guy which was paying off. He’d gotten two sketchbooks, one for himself and one for Guy. Phil and Guy would lay on the sectional together, sharing the colored pencils Phil had also bought. He’d shown Guy how to draw cars and planes that he learned when he was growing up. Phil began using the opportunity to shape letters out of machinery and dinosaurs. Guy seemed to enjoy it as much as he did.</p>
<p>Clint had asked Phil about coming to the adoption hearing which was just around the corner. Natasha and Felicity would be accompanying them. A party at Clint’s was planned with the Avengers and other children that had been befriended in the preceding months.</p>
<p>Skye brought Phil a suit from his apartment the night before for the hearing. She stayed for dinner and had a blast playing with Sunset. Before leaving, she’d been able to get in a tickle fight with Guy which stunned both Phil and Clint. Guy had never let his guard down that much before.</p>
<p>Phil and Clint put both kids to bed together. He stayed with Sunset a little while longer while Clint went to see to Guy. Seeing her sleep so peacefully with such beautiful innocence touched Phil.</p>
<p>“Your dad doesn’t know it,” Phil whispered. “You and your brother will always have a piece of my heart.”</p>
<p>He was passing by Guy’s room, when he heard them talking. Phil knew he shouldn’t be listening, but stopped anyways.</p>
<p>“Will my last name be Barton, too?” Guy asked.</p>
<p>“If you want. Or you can keep the name you have,” Clint answered.</p>
<p>“Aren’t you supposed to know that already?”</p>
<p>“Felicity said I could tell her tomorrow after the hearing.”</p>
<p>“Will Sunset have your name, too?”</p>
<p>“I thought this was something you could decide for you and your sister. I don’t think she’d mind. Do you?”</p>
<p>“Probably not.”</p>
<p>“No matter what, Guy, your mommy will always be your mommy. Nothing will ever change that no matter what you decide.”</p>
<p>“You’ll be my daddy.”</p>
<p>There was a bit of a pause. Phil imagined Clint would be deeply touched.</p>
<p>“You can still call me Clint if you want.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t call you that before because I was afraid you’d change your mind. Because, I’m…I’m…”</p>
<p>“Oh, sweetheart,” Clint said. “I’d never change my mind. I love you and Sunset so much. You both are perfect for me.”</p>
<p>“I want to call you daddy.”</p>
<p>Phil heard the rustling of covers and he imagined the hug father and son were sharing.</p>
<p>“I love you, Daddy.”</p>
<p>“Baby, I love you, too.”</p>
<p>Eyes wet with unshed tears, Phil left making sure he wasn’t seen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rather than the solemn courtroom hearing Phil had expected, this one was quite different. They’d been sent to a smaller courtroom where other children and adoptive parents were waiting. Noisy and happy, kids were crawling over seats, their perspective parents and were just generally being rambunctious children. No one seemed to mind. There were flowers, balloons and even a few signs celebrating the day.</p>
<p>Clint had dressed Guy in a suit and Sunset wore a dress with sparkling yellow and red flowers. Natasha helped get them situated. As more people came into the courtroom, Phil moved to the back while Felicity spoke with Clint.</p>
<p>The entire affair was one of celebration and happiness. Witnessing families rejoice when the judge made his pronouncement was quite moving. When it was Clint’s turn, it was like seeing a new man. The delight on his face was reminiscent of their wedding day. Clint lifted Sunset in the air when the judge made the declaration that the three were a family. Guy jumped up into the chair and hugged Clint.</p>
<p>It was just too much. He left the courtroom and was on his way to the elevator when Natasha caught up to him.</p>
<p>“Phil, Clint wants you here.”</p>
<p>“I…,” the emotion was just too much for Phil. “Tell Clint I’m sorry. Also tell him that I’m truly happy for him. No one deserves it more.”</p>
<p>The doors slid open and Phil stepped inside.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Phil came home, stripped off the tie and jacket. He ate a slice of cold pizza Skye had left in the fridge. Phil did little, but as nighttime darkened the living room he wound up with a glass of scotch in hand and slumped on the sofa.</p>
<p>There was a knock at the door, but Phil ignored it. He took a drink instead and finished off the alcohol. The knocking persisted.</p>
<p>He sighed when he heard the unlocking of the door, then it opened and closed. Phil knew who it was.</p>
<p>“I didn’t give you a key.”</p>
<p>“Skye did,” Clint answered.</p>
<p>“Why are you here?”</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you stay?” Clint demanded. “Guy was asking where you were.”</p>
<p>“Tell him I’m sorry,” Phil said still not looking at Clint.</p>
<p>“Fuck you, Phil!” Clint said raising his voice. “You don’t get to walk out and then say you’re sorry!”</p>
<p>“You did.”</p>
<p>He heard Clint’s heavy sigh. Phil’s gut felt like it weighed a ton.</p>
<p>“I really believed you’d seen it.” Clint walked around until he was in Phil’s line of sight. “That you understood the more time you spent with us. You got why this is so important.”</p>
<p>“I do, Clint. I swear I do.”</p>
<p>“Then what the hell is wrong?”</p>
<p>Phil couldn’t answer. He just shook his head.</p>
<p>“Fuck!” Clint ground out. “Do you want a divorce? You didn’t file, maybe I should.”</p>
<p>“Maybe.”</p>
<p>“Answer my question.”</p>
<p>Then Phil did look up and into Clint’s eyes. “What?”</p>
<p>“Do you want a divorce?” Clint repeated.</p>
<p>Phil honestly didn’t have an answer for him and he could only stare.</p>
<p>“The longer you go without saying yes, the less I’ll believe it if you do say it.”</p>
<p>“No,” Phil whispered. “But maybe you should file.”</p>
<p>“Why? I don’t want it any more than you do.”</p>
<p>He covered his mouth with his hand as Clint took a seat next to him. Varying emotions roiled through Phil, but how to put it into words, he had no idea.</p>
<p>“Remember when I told you why I didn’t want children? It was my fault, but then parents shouldn’t be so irresponsible. If they would just listen…if he had!”</p>
<p>“Phil!”</p>
<p>Then Phil realized Clint had his hands on his cheeks. “What?”</p>
<p>“Slow down. Start from the beginning. Do you want something to drink first?”</p>
<p>“Yes, there’s scotch in the cabinet.”</p>
<p>“You’re getting water.” Clint stood and went to the kitchen. He returned with a bottle from the fridge.</p>
<p>Phil took a long drink and felt a bit refreshed, clearheaded. “Thanks.”</p>
<p>“Take your time.”</p>
<p>“Do you remember me telling you about my father and when he died?”</p>
<p>“Yes, you said he was killed during a holdup at a convenience store.”</p>
<p>“That part was true, but I kept the rest of it from you.”</p>
<p>“What more is there?”</p>
<p>“I got a car for my thirteenth birthday. It was nothing more than a junker Dad had found. All I saw was this hunk of garbage sitting in the driveway.” Phil remembered the excitement in his father’s eyes. “He said it was mine and that I’ll come to love it. I thought he was crazy.” Phil huffed a laugh. “Every day after school and on weekends, we worked on that stupid thing. He dragged me with him to track down original parts all over the state. I resented him for it. All I wanted was to watch football and place ice hockey with my friends.”</p>
<p>“Building up some good old-fashioned teenage resentment, I imagine,” Clint said.</p>
<p>“Yes. Very much so. We had more than one argument along the way. There was so much repair work that was needed, it took quite a while before the car began to take shape. I can’t count the number of dents we knocked out and how difficult it was to get the motor into shape. Right after school let out for the summer it was finished. Dad and I couldn’t believe it was the same car after the cherry red paint job.”</p>
<p>“Was this Lola?”</p>
<p>Phil nodded. “She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen at the time. Dad and I had done something quite extraordinary and our relationship became stronger by the time all was said and done. One evening, we decided to go to a drive-in. The Goonies were playing. He loved it and I hated it.”</p>
<p>Phil smiled a little at the memory.</p>
<p>“On the way home, he stopped at a convenience store. He wanted to get some cigarettes. We got into an argument about it because he’d promised to quit. Instead he walks away and goes inside. I was so pissed at him; I never saw the gunman go into the store. There was a pop. A few minutes passed and I decided to find out what was taking Dad so long.  He was lying facedown on the floor while the blood poured out from under his body.”</p>
<p>“Jesus, Phil. I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>“I nearly destroyed that car after the funeral,” Phil said. “Instead, I tried to play the stoic son while I was dying inside. At first, I blamed him, and then the car. But I realized I didn’t do enough. I fought with him so much and I said things I shouldn’t have. That night was one of the worst arguments despite all we accomplished with the car. He was angry when he walked away. I told him I’d rather have the car than him when smoking kills him.”</p>
<p>“It was not your fault, Phil. You have to know that.”</p>
<p>“I never really dealt with the fallout of that night, Clint. It wasn’t until today I realized what I’d been doing long before we broke up. It was miserable growing up without my father and as an adult I swore no child should have to suffer that. Our jobs were dangerous enough and that was an excuse I gave you. I rationalized my reaction to the detriment of myself and our relationship. There’s so much guilt and pain. It’s the last thing you and your family need.”</p>
<p>“Seems to me you were feeling a little bit of happiness with us,” Clint told him.</p>
<p>“I did,” Phil said. “But today, seeing you three together made me realize one thing.”</p>
<p>“What’s that?”</p>
<p>Phil swiped the tear off his cheek and then gazed into Clint’s eyes.</p>
<p>“I want it. I want it all, Clint, but I don’t deserve it. I can’t let this touch your family.”</p>
<p>“You do?”</p>
<p>“What?” That was not what Clint was supposed to say. He’s supposed to agree with him.</p>
<p>“What matters is that you want us, Phil. We’ll work on it together.”</p>
<p>Then Clint was kissing him, pulling him close. Phil reached his arms around Clint and returned it with all the love he had inside. It would have continued and they probably would have wound up in the bedroom, Phil had to slow things down. He pulled back.</p>
<p>“Clint,” Phil breathed.</p>
<p>“Tonight. Come home with me tonight, Phil.” Clint kissed him again.</p>
<p>Phil broke away and got to his feet. He needed to catch his breath.</p>
<p>“Phil? What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>Hearing the panic in Clint’s voice, Phil turned back.</p>
<p>“God, don’t misunderstand a thing, Clint. I love you so much and I want you more than I’ve wanted anything.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, same for me, too.”</p>
<p>“We’ve changed so much over the last year. You especially. I hadn’t realized I had until the last month.”</p>
<p>“What are you saying?”</p>
<p>“We can’t rush this, Clint. I want us to get to know one another again.”</p>
<p>“You mean like dating?” Clint got to his feet. “I don’t need anyone to tell me I’ve changed. You too, for that matter. But Phil, we can do this. I know it.”</p>
<p>“I do, too, but I need this, Clint. I lost you once because I let my own needs tell me what to do before I fully understood them. I’m not sure we could survive a repeat of that.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Clint reluctantly agreed. “I don’t like it, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes. So, breakfast tomorrow?”</p>
<p>Phil couldn’t help but laugh a little. “You need to wake up with your children.”</p>
<p>Clint looked like he had something else to say, but Phil stopped him.</p>
<p>“I’m due to report back to work on Monday. Why don’t we have dinner Saturday evening. I’m sure Natasha won’t mind babysitting.”</p>
<p>“Two days. I can wait until then.”</p>
<p>“I hope you’re not talking about sex.”</p>
<p>“Shit, Phil. I haven’t been with anyone since you. I’m horny as hell right now.”</p>
<p>“Me neither, but we’re going to do this right, like you said.”</p>
<p>“Fine. But I’m calling and texting. A lot.”</p>
<p>“Send me pictures, too. I want to know how Guy and Sunset are doing.”</p>
<p>“Deal.”</p>
<p>Clint walked over and Phil tasted his lips. Yes, they were going to do this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Phil exchanged a few messages with Clint before their first date, but then was inundated with photos of the children. He was missing them. The one with Sunset and Guy helping Clint make chocolate chip cookies was just adorable. Flour and dough covered the countertop.</p>
<p>Much to his dismay, Skye dragged him out for clothes shopping Friday after work. He looked over a few dress shirts, but Skye came over and shoved some clothes in his arms.</p>
<p>Rather than argue, he sighed and headed for the dressing room. There were four different outfits Phil tried on. Every time he stepped out and looked in the mirror, Skye would shake her head and hand over more garments.</p>
<p>In the end, they both agreed on a soft collared beige sweater with a white t-shirt underneath, dark blue jeans and a new black coat that went with the ensemble. Skye put a dark grey woolen flat cap on his head and Phil drew the line at that.</p>
<p>Saturday, Phil took a cab to Clint’s. He wanted to see the kids before leaving with Clint.</p>
<p>Natasha opened the door and nodded her approval.</p>
<p>“Your protégé dress you?”</p>
<p>“I’ll answer that if you would tell me how much of Skye’s training you’re involved in these days.”</p>
<p>She smiled sweetly. “I think we both know the answer to these questions.”</p>
<p>Phil chuckled as he followed her inside. Guy came over and hugged Phil’s leg.</p>
<p>“Are you back?” Guy asked hopefully.</p>
<p>“I’ll be around more,” Phil said as he knelt. He laughed when Sunset toddled over and threw herself against him. The hugs were nice.</p>
<p>“Wow, Phil, you look great.”</p>
<p>Phil looked to see Clint coming down the stairs. He wore a dark purple button down and black slacks. The simple ensemble made him sexier than ever.</p>
<p>“Same goes for you,” Phil said. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Clint.</p>
<p>He watched as Clint gave kisses and said goodnight to the children. Natasha handed Clint his coat and they left on their date.</p>
<p>Clint took Phil to a Spanish restaurant. It was warm and inviting with a burning fire coming from the open kitchen. They spent their time talking about the old days, the kids and everything else in between. It remained a light-hearted evening as they shared a large skillet of paella and drank sangrias.</p>
<p>Rather than call it an evening after a few hours at the restaurant, Phil and Clint opted for a walk around the block. They were both full as a result of the fantastic meal. The cold air had them walking shoulder to shoulder and then they were holding hands.</p>
<p>It was another hour before Clint took Phil back to his apartment. At the doorway, Clint leaned in close and Phil shuttered his eyes. The kiss was tender and slow.</p>
<p>Then it was over. They both looked into each other’s eyes.</p>
<p>“I’ll see you soon,” Clint whispered.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” was all Phil could say.</p>
<p>Soft smiles were exchanged before Clint walked away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p>As February moved into March, Phil and Clint continued their dating. Phil was spending more time at Clint’s with the children.</p>
<p>Some things were becoming clear to Phil. He had spent more time at SHIELD prior to the breakup. Phil was more focused on his work and had stopped talking to Clint. It was easy because Phil had never believed it was possible for him and Clint to end their relationship. He had closed himself off in more ways than he realized by the time Clint had left him. That much became clear as Phil started talking about life after his father’s brutal murder. He’d carried all that baggage into his marriage without even knowing it.</p>
<p>Tonight, Phil was getting Sunset ready for bed with Guy’s help while Clint finished up the dishes after having ice cream. Diapers were still not his strong suit, but Guy pointed out everything Phil would need. After some wrangling, he put Sunset in her baby bed. With Guy looking on, Phil started a gentle song on his cellphone as her gaze went from him to the stars on the ceiling that he and Clint had added weeks before.</p>
<p>Once her eyes began closing, Phil and Guy left the room. Phil waited outside the room while Guy put on his pajamas. The door opened and Phil went inside. He and Guy talked about his drawings and the new things he wanted to try. Phil promised to help before shutting off the light and closing the door.</p>
<p>As Phil started past Clint’s room he stopped. He made his way inside to the fireplace where Clint’s wedding band still sat. Phil didn’t have the right to touch it despite his desire. Then he felt Clint’s presence.</p>
<p>“I think we’ll get them back on,” Clint said. “Do you?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Phil firmly answered. He turned around. “I do.”</p>
<p>They met in a deep kiss which seemed to last forever. Clint broke it and dragged his mouth across Phil’s cheek.</p>
<p>“Tonight,” Clint whispered. “Please, tonight.”</p>
<p>“God, yes,” Phil answered tiling his head back to give more access to his throat.</p>
<p>Shoes were kicked off and clothes removed as they moved to the bed. Phil put Clint to his back and they exchanged another hot kiss. Then Clint pushed at his shoulders.</p>
<p>“What?” Phil said breathing hard. His cock was already aching.</p>
<p>“Covers. I can’t do this on top of the spread.”</p>
<p>“Right.”</p>
<p>They pulled down the spread and pushed it off the bed with their feet. On the cool sheets, Phil and Clint were body to body as their lips met once again.</p>
<p>“Wait,” Clint said after rolling Phil to his back.</p>
<p>He leaned across Phil’s body and fumbled for the dresser.</p>
<p>“Clint, not that I’m trying to be overly needy here, but some foreplay would be acceptable…more so on my end.”</p>
<p>“I just don’t want to have to get it when we need it the most.” Clint finally found the lube and held it up with a grin. “Just want it close by.”</p>
<p>After Clint set the tube within reach, he settled in with a smile. His eyes went to the scar on Phil’s chest.</p>
<p>“Don’t…” Phil said. He’d always been self-conscious about it.</p>
<p>“I’ve missed it,” Clint whispered as he gently touched it. “It reminds me what a fucking survivor you are.”</p>
<p>“So are you.” Phil reminded Clint by caressing the long scar along his rib cage. “We both are.”</p>
<p>Then Clint began kissing the scar and then working his way down Phil’s body. Phil groaned loudly when Clint enveloped his entire cock with his mouth. He grabbed a pillow and held it over his face to muffle the sounds he was making while Clint gave him an unforgettable blowjob.</p>
<p>The pillow was taken away and Phil was looking at Clint, his mouth wet and breathless.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, these walls are thick. The kids won’t hear,” Clint assured him with a smirk.</p>
<p>Clint prepping him was almost as bad. Phil moved his hips against Clint’s fingers as he readied him. With a smile, Phil reached for the lube, squeezed some on his fingers and coated Clint’s cock. Seeing the rapture on the man’s face, was just damn beautiful and Phil wanted to pleasure him forever.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Clint breathed. “Enough of that already.”</p>
<p>Phil shoved a pillow under his hips. He wanted Clint’s cock as deep as it could get. The stretched burned a little at first. Phil was reminded how long it had been, but as Clint pushed on, the feeling grew exquisite.</p>
<p>“Oh, my god,” Phil breathed.</p>
<p>“Oh, fuck, yeah.”</p>
<p>“No,” Phil said suddenly alarmed. He stilled Clint’s movements. “The kids…Guy.”</p>
<p>“I told you the walls are well insulated.”</p>
<p>“He could walk in on us.” Phil was panicked at the thought. Clint’s hard cock was still inside him. “What should we do?”</p>
<p>Clint sighed. “If by some chance he does, you or the two of us will talk to him. Explain it to him.”</p>
<p>“But…”</p>
<p>“Let me guess,” Clint said. “You walked in on your parents, didn’t you?”</p>
<p>“I was eight and it was quite alarming.”</p>
<p>“Phil, I really want to come inside of you. Badly. Can we table this discussion if it does happen?”</p>
<p>Phil felt a bit better. “Continue.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>You’re welcome was on the tip of Phil’s tongue when Clint began fucking him in earnest. Feeling his deepness and his hands on him had Phil flying high. The harder Clint moved into him, the better it felt.</p>
<p>“Let’s come at the same time,” Phil breathed as Clint rocked his hips.</p>
<p>“Planning ahead again, are we?” Clint laughed.</p>
<p>“I’m close.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, me, too.”</p>
<p>When Clint put his hand on Phil’s dick he nearly erupted right then.</p>
<p>“Fuck,” Clint ground out as he moved deeper and harder. “I’m gonna come right now!”</p>
<p>They both climaxed together and by the time they came down off their orgasmic high, they were sweaty and breathing hard.</p>
<p>Phil winced a little as Clint eased out of him. He looked over at Clint who rolled to his back.</p>
<p>“We used to screw each other’s brains out for hours,” Clint commented.</p>
<p>“It should be noted that we’ve both admitted there has been zero sexual activity for some time.”</p>
<p>“It turns me on when you talk like that, Phil,” Clint laughed. He smacked Phil’s arm. “Let’s go clean up and then fix the sheets. I’m bushed.”</p>
<p>Phil followed Clint into the ample bathroom where they took turns washing each other down. Afterwards, they straightened the bedding. Phil was surprised at the sleep pants Clint threw him.</p>
<p>“What’s this for?”</p>
<p>“You were the one complaining about a kid walking in. I haven’t slept naked since the first night they were here.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Phil slid on the sleep pants and then got into bed with Clint. “What do you think Guy will say in the morning?”</p>
<p>“He won’t be surprised.”</p>
<p>Feeling Clint pull him close made Phil’s heart leap.</p>
<p>“I had a talk with him a few weeks ago about it.”</p>
<p>“What did he say?”</p>
<p>“Just ‘oh’. Like he expected it. I brought it up again and I think he’s happy about us being together.”</p>
<p>Phil didn’t know what to make of Guy’s reaction. He didn’t think about it long before he was asleep.</p>
<p>Morning came much sooner when the door to Clint’s room was opened. Phil rubbed his eyes as he came awake. He was surprised when Clint jumped out of bed and he saw the reason why.</p>
<p>Guy stood with Sunset in the doorway.</p>
<p>“How did she get out of her baby bed?” Clint asked Guy.</p>
<p>“She was coming over it when I went into room. I caught her,” Guy explained.</p>
<p>Phil sat up as Clint picked up Sunset and made sure she was uninjured.</p>
<p>“We never heard a sound from the monitor,” Phil said. He looked at Guy who just shrugged his shoulders.</p>
<p>“I’ll get a shirt on and we’ll go down for breakfast,” Clint said.</p>
<p>After Clint put Sunset on the bed, Phil opened his arms to her as she crawled over.</p>
<p>“Guess you’ll have to figure out something else for her so she doesn’t hurt herself should she make another escape attempt,” Phil said as Sunset planted a wet kiss on his cheek.</p>
<p>“You mean ‘we’,” Clint said as he slipped on a vintage Miami Vice t-shirt. “I’ll need your brains for this one, Phil.”</p>
<p>Phil was more than happy to do that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The problem with Sunset leaving her baby bed was solved with a toddler bed. Phil and Clint found a bedrail which slid in easy enough. The saleswoman suggested a baby gate at Sunset’s bedroom door.</p>
<p>Phil and Clint dismantled Sunset’s bed when the new toddler bed arrived. As Phil put together the railing, Clint fiddled with the baby monitor to make it more sensitive to any sound coming from the bedroom. He grinned when he heard Clint muttering something about Tony Stark under his breath.</p>
<p>As the weeks passed, Phil was spending more and more time at Clint’s. Slowly, a few of his own things were making their way into Clint’s dresser and huge closet. The process had them discussing Phil moving in which he was still a bit wary about no matter how badly he wanted to share Clint’s home with the kids.</p>
<p>There was a lengthy conversation with Fury about Phil’s status at SHIELD. He still wanted to keep his job. It was then decided that Sitwell would be promoted to Phil’s position which satisfied him. Phil would spend more time at the office, overseeing the much larger operations from SHIELD’s situation room and making the occasional trip to DC to “wrangle politicians” as Fury had put it.</p>
<p>When he told Clint, Phil shook his head as his husband chuckled all through dinner that night.</p>
<p>They talked more about their relationship and where they were going. It was Clint who brought up their wedding rings and maybe renewing their vows. Phil didn’t want to give up his wedding band. They had a long history together he wasn’t going to let go of. Clint agreed.</p>
<p>The discussion was temporarily put off after an explosive event at the dining room table one day.</p>
<p>Phil was playing with Sunset while watching a cartoon on the TV. Clint was in the kitchen making a grocery list and planning meals for the following week. Glory was adding more toys to Sunset’s pile.</p>
<p>Suddenly a scream erupted from the table. Phil grabbed Sunset and handed her off to Glory and ran over to where Clint stood shocked at the sight.</p>
<p>Guy had a pencil tearing at the blue construction paper, screaming and crying.</p>
<p>“I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!”</p>
<p>Over and over the boy furiously continued. Phil watched Clint rush over and pull Guy off the chair.</p>
<p>“Guy!” Guy then started swinging his hands as he continued to scream the words. “Guy!” Clint said with a shake to his shoulders.</p>
<p>Phil looked over when Sunset started crying. “Take her upstairs,” Phil told Glory.</p>
<p>He moved closer as Clint picked up a frantic Guy who finally put his hand on his Dad’s shoulder. He was still crying, “I hate him.”</p>
<p>Looking at Clint, Phil saw the shaken look in the tears streaming down his face. Phil nodded as Clint carried Guy towards the stairs.</p>
<p>When he was alone, he went to the torn construction paper. Among the jagged tears was a face and it took a moment for Phil to realize who he was looking at. Then he took out his cellphone and made a call.  </p>
<p>Half an hour later, Phil saw Clint slowly taking the stairs one at a time. When Clint sat on the stairwell near the landing, Phil moved next to him.</p>
<p>“How is he?”</p>
<p>“Sleeping,” Clint sighed. He wiped his eyes. “It took a while for him to calm down.”</p>
<p>“Did he say anything?”</p>
<p>Clint shook his head. “No. He refuses to say a word.”</p>
<p>“Clint…” Phil began.</p>
<p>“I’ve never seen him like this. He’s a calm and reserved child, Phil.”</p>
<p>“Please, listen for a moment. There’s something I have to tell you.”</p>
<p>“What?” Clint tiredly asked.</p>
<p>“Did you notice the drawing?”</p>
<p>“No, I never got a chance. Why?”</p>
<p>“The face he was drawing seemed familiar and I made a call.”</p>
<p>“Just spit it out, Phil.”</p>
<p>“Calvin Manchester was killed in a knife fight last night.”</p>
<p>Clint looked at him in disbelief. “What?”</p>
<p>“I think that’s who Guy was drawing and may explain his reaction.”</p>
<p>“That’s insane, Phil. Guy has never laid eyes on him. Hell, he was barely two when that asshole was sent up.”</p>
<p>“I can’t explain it either, but there are questions about your children that needs to be answered.”</p>
<p>Clint pushed up from the steps and stalked into the kitchen. Phil followed.</p>
<p>“You know what, Phil, I used to always listen to you and go along. I always thought you knew better than me. You were smarter, but you’re treading on dangerous ground here.”</p>
<p>Phil needed Clint to understand.</p>
<p>“You’ve noticed how Sunset gravitates toward certain colors and foods. She does it outside with trees, the sun and more. Once it rains or snows, she gets moodier. She may be developmentally behind other children her age, but she has a sensitivity about the earth and sun.” When Clint said nothing, Phil continued. “Guy is a hyperaware child, Clint. I think he sensed those agents that were watching your house. Then there are other things he seems to know without any way of having access to that information.”</p>
<p>“You’re wrong,” Clint firmly said.</p>
<p>“Look at the first picture he drew for you, Clint,” Phil pushed. Natasha had framed it and it hung among others above the fireplace in the den. “It looks like the brownstone. There are four people in that drawing. Any chance that fourth person is me?”</p>
<p>“Alright, enough.”</p>
<p>“I think Guy and Sunset are gifted. I think you’ve suspected but were too afraid to face it. Their mother may have been as well to the point she turned to drugs to self-medicate whatever was happening to her.”</p>
<p>Clint stilled and Phil watched the warring emotions cross his face.</p>
<p>“You’re saying that Guy and Sunset might be…mutants as if it’s as empowering as some of them claim.” He shook his head. “I don’t want that for my kids. We may be in the mutant capital of the world, Phil, but there are plenty of people who aren’t kind…even dangerous to anyone that’s different.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, but can’t we better protect them by knowing for sure? We can prepare them, help them. Please, Clint. Think about it.”</p>
<p>Leaning against the island, the anger seemed to just leave Clint. “You’re right. In the back of my mind, I suspected, but I was determined to give them a normal life away from anything have to do with SHIELD, the Avengers and anything to do with mutants…gifted,” Clint corrected. “I’m sorry for what I said about you. I just fucking hate this. I’m scared for them, Phil.”</p>
<p>Phil hurried over and pulled Clint into his arms.</p>
<p>“I know. I am, too. But we can do this, Clint. We’ll be scared for them together, protect them together and love them together.”</p>
<p>They held onto each other tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was three days later when their visitors arrived. Life was going back to normal despite Guy’s refusal to talk about what happened. Phil saw Clint’s nervousness as he let Professor Charles Xavier and Jean Grey inside.</p>
<p>“Mr. Barton, thank you for allowing us in your home.”</p>
<p>“Just Clint, please.” He glanced at Phil before talking. “This is just an evaluation and nothing more.”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Charles said. “You require answers to better help them. In the interest of disclosure, it was through cerebro that I determined some activity was happening in your home. I had little power to understand it due to…” He smiled briefly. “Unless there is a danger, we do keep our distance unless we’re called.”</p>
<p>“In the past, it’s caused problems,” Jean explained. “We try to tread carefully in these situations. Most especially due to their young ages.”</p>
<p>“Would you like to see them now?” Phil asked.</p>
<p>“One at a time would be preferable,” Charlies answered.</p>
<p>“Sunset is in the den and Guy is in his room.” Charles followed Clint with Phil and Jean close behind.</p>
<p>The little girl had a half-hazard flower made on the magnetic board. Seeing Clint she waved her arms about.</p>
<p>Phil always loved how Clint went to Sunset and her tumbling into his arms. Her walking was greatly improving and these days they struggled to keep up with her. He looked at Charles who had moved his wheelchair closer. Words were exchanged and Sunset walked over to see the chair Charles sat in. Then Phil saw his face. There was a slight smile and pleasure as he closed his eyes. It took only a minute.</p>
<p>“She’s quite extraordinary,” Charles said.</p>
<p>“You found something?” Clint asked.</p>
<p>“She can communicate with nature.”</p>
<p>“She talks to plants?” There was disbelief all over Clint’s face.</p>
<p>“Not exactly, Clint. There is far more happening with your daughter. She has an ability to focus and listen to a concerto of sorts. As she grows, I suspect it will become a symphony that she can guide and mature.”</p>
<p>“Like music in her mind,” Phil said. He looked at Clint.</p>
<p>“Oh, my god,” Clint said. He picked Sunset up and placed her in his lap before kissing the top of her head. Then he gazed at Charles. “She loves music. You should see her. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense to me, but other times I can almost hear a melody.”</p>
<p>“I would encourage her love of nature and music. They are intrinsically interwoven and Sunset will flourish as she learns more. We’ll be able to aid her when she is much older and able to understand her gift.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Clint said. He looked at Phil. “It explains so much about her.”</p>
<p>“It’s a beautiful gift, Clint,” Phil told him.</p>
<p>“I can bring Guy downstairs,” Clint told Charles.</p>
<p>“I think he’d prefer the safety of his room,” Charles said. “Perhaps we should go to him.”</p>
<p>“I’ll stay with Sunset,” Jean offered.</p>
<p>Phil and Clint guided Charles to the elevator. There wasn’t enough room for all three of them together. It took two trips to get to the second floor. When they arrived at Guy’s room, Charles looked at Phil and Clint.</p>
<p>“Perhaps if I went in alone,” Charles offered. “You can remain in the doorway to observe. Is this acceptable?”</p>
<p>Phil took Clint’s hand and they nodded. Charles turned the wheelchair around and seemed to have some trouble entering Guy’s room.</p>
<p>“I only wish to speak with you, Guy,” Charles said. “Your fathers will be close. You are safe.”</p>
<p>Phil almost said he wasn’t Guy’s father, but didn’t want to interrupt what Charles was doing. He watched Charles finally enter the bedroom and then direct himself to the bed where Guy was with his familiar notepad.</p>
<p>“Hello, Guy,” Charles said. Then there was a fair amount of pain that crossed his face. “It’s alright, Jean. We’re getting to know one another.”</p>
<p>Clint’s hand gripped Phil’s tighter.</p>
<p>“I will not use my telepathy, Guy, unless you allow it.” Guy stayed silent. “I have a special machine at my home and it allows me to find special children such as you. I did find you, but you’ve learned how to block anything you believe will harm you or your family. Do you know what this means?”</p>
<p>Guy shook his head.</p>
<p>“It means you have a special and powerful gift, but you must learn how to make sure it does not control you.”</p>
<p>“I hurt Daddy,” Guy said.</p>
<p>When Clint averted his face, Phil held tightly to his hand. It took a moment to get his bearings.</p>
<p>“No, Guy, you didn’t,” Clint assured him. “You didn’t hurt anyone.”</p>
<p>“Do you believe him or do you have to read his mind?” Charles asked.</p>
<p>“Sometimes I can’t,” Guy told Charles. “It’s okay because he’s never lied to me.”</p>
<p>Guy slowly flipped a page in his notepad and slid it over for Charles to see. Phil and Clint edged closer to get a look. It was a circle with a large X in the middle. The added lines made it look nearly a wheelchair.</p>
<p>“You have a special gift, Guy,” Charles said with a gentle smile. “I hope you will allow us to help you with it.”</p>
<p>“I can’t,” Guy whispered shaking his head. “I can’t.”</p>
<p>“Why not?” Phil asked.</p>
<p>“Sometimes it won’t stop,” Guy said. “I have to draw what I see or it hurts.”</p>
<p>“Guy,” Clint nearly cried. He moved closer to him. “Professor X and his friends are good people and I think they can help you figure it out. We’ll all try.”</p>
<p>Guy looked directly at Phil. “Will you go away again?”</p>
<p>“Never, Guy,” Phil promised. “I love you, your sister and your Dad.”</p>
<p>“Daddy hurt a lot even when he didn’t want me to see it,” Guy said. “Sunset and I want you to stay all the time.”</p>
<p>“I promise,” Phil said.</p>
<p>Guy looked at Charles and nodded. “Daddy, can I go see Sunset?”</p>
<p>“Sure, sweetheart. She’s downstairs with a nice lady named Jean.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Guy said. “Sunset likes her.”</p>
<p>When he was gone, Clint sat on Guy’s bed and Phil next to him.</p>
<p>“Wow.” Clint rubbed his face.</p>
<p>“He’s telepathic,” Phil said. “It explains a lot.”</p>
<p>“There’s far more,” Charles said looking at the drawing. “Guy apparently has somehow tapped into the ability to see the past and the future. He’s able to communicate them with his drawings. I imagine he has difficulty sleeping as a result.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Clint said. “I can’t count the times he’s come to my room in the middle of the night.”</p>
<p>“While Sunset will likely grow into her gift naturally,” Charles began. “Guy will need guidance to begin to understand his. It will take time to gauge how extensive his gifts are. Jean and myself will help, but I know someone who can offer him a better way of dealing in order to give him some peace.”</p>
<p>“What did you have in mind, Charles?” Phil asked.</p>
<p>“I would like to send a tutor of sorts. Her name is Ruth Aldine and I believe she can help Guy.”</p>
<p>“I’ve heard of her,” Phil said. “Codename Blindfold.”</p>
<p>“She is blind,” Charles confirmed. “She is also talented and patient.”</p>
<p>Phil looked at Clint. “How do you feel about all of this?”</p>
<p>“Better than I thought I would. I’m still scared as hell for him and Sunset both, but I think it’s for the best.” He looked at Charles. “They’re not moving to your school until they’re twenty-five.”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Charles said smiling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The talk of renewing their vows came out in the open and ideas where going back and forth. Phil and Clint agreed on something small, but the talk of guests had it being larger than they wanted.</p>
<p>Phil added squash to Sunset’s plate. She was pushing the food around with a spoon and managed to get a piece on it. Sunset wound up grabbing another with her hands and shoved in her mouth.</p>
<p>“The Tower is out of the question,” Phil said. He looked down at his plate of veggies and questioned life as he knew it.</p>
<p>“Yeah, Tony Stark doesn’t do anything low key,” Clint agreed.</p>
<p>“Iron Man!” Guy smiled. Then it left his face. “My drawings won’t tell me.”</p>
<p>“Stop trying,” Clint smiled. “Miss Ruth said you shouldn’t force it. You just started learning.”</p>
<p>“I know, but it’ll help, won’t it?”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, Guy,” Phil said. “We’ve got time.”</p>
<p>Sunset smacked her hands on her tray which got everyone’s attention. She still had food on her plate which managed to remain where it was.</p>
<p>“Settle down, sweety,” Clint said. He looked at Phil. “Our wild girl must be really hungry.”</p>
<p>Phil beamed at hearing “our wild girl”. He wanted it to be true, but said nothing.</p>
<p>“Pa poo! Pa poo!”</p>
<p>Everyone froze in surprise. Sunset had never spoken words before.</p>
<p>“I don’t believe it!” Clint jumped out of his chair. He got Sunset out of her highchair and lifted her up. “Way to go, Sunset!”</p>
<p>Sunset squealed and laughed. Then her body folded in half and she reached out to Phil who got up to take her in his arms. She grinned and put her hands on his cheeks.</p>
<p>“Pa poo!”</p>
<p>“It’s Papa, Sunset. Papa,” Guy corrected.</p>
<p>Phil was stunned and he couldn’t stop the tears in the corner of his eyes. Sunset raised her hands up high.</p>
<p>“Papa!” Sunset repeated keeping her arms upward.</p>
<p>“Phil, the roof. We can do it on the roof here.”</p>
<p>“Can we?” Phil asked.</p>
<p>“I’ll even let Stark pay for it this time.”</p>
<p>“I’d love it,” Phil told Clint. He hugged Sunset who left a wet spot on his cheek.</p>
<p>“I should start drawing pizzas,” Guy said as he pushed at the vegetables on his plate.</p>
<p>“Why?” Clint asked.</p>
<p>“So we’d get pizza,” Guy answered matter of fact.</p>
<p>“Go figure,” Phil happily said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After dinner while the children watched TV in the den, Phil helped Clint in the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Papa,” Clint said. “I like the sound of it.”</p>
<p>“I’m not sure she understood what she was saying.” Phil added the last plate to the dishwasher.</p>
<p>“Why do you say that?” Clint came closer.</p>
<p>“I’m not…” Phil sighed. “You’re…”</p>
<p>“Hey.”</p>
<p>Phil loved how Clint pulled him closer and he answered the kiss with his own.</p>
<p>“You’re a part of us now. You and me…together, we’re their parents…together.”</p>
<p>“Clint, I want that more than anything.”</p>
<p>“You want to adopt them, too? One call to Felicity is all it would take.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure? You started all of this on your own, a family.”</p>
<p>“Since the first day I walked into the house when it was nothing but a wreck, all I’ve ever wanted was you with me. After the kids came, I thought about you with every step forward and back, Phil. Far as I’m concerned, you were always with me.”</p>
<p>“I love you so much,” Phil gently replied.</p>
<p>“So, how about I call Felicity first thing in the morning. Tonight, I’ll call Natasha and tell her she’s got best friend duties.”</p>
<p>“Not Guy?” Phil asked with a grin.</p>
<p>“Actually, Guy wants to be your best man.”</p>
<p>“Perfect,” Phil said before kissing Clint.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>END</p>
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